I am so tired of rain and just plain ugly weather. I love spring and everything blooming, bright and beautiful. The weather has a huge impact on my mood. It is Monday, and as most Mondays go I had way too much to do and didn't make near the dent I'd hoped to at work. My devotional this morning was a challenge mentally. It really pointed to where we are seeking God. Too many times we are drawn by a great song, a great message, a great drama and suddenly there's God. How often do we seek Him in the day to day? He is there, plain as day but we go through the week so busy and caught up in what we have to get done that we completely miss Him. I think I realized today that it takes some extra oomph to find Him. This is especially true when you consider I am NOT a morning person and I need a half a pot of coffee just to get myself in any way functioning for the day. I will admit that seeking God in the day to day is not something I practice. I hope to start doing more of it and I want to challenge myself to do it. There are days when I catch myself, stop and realize how long I've been going on auto pilot...even in my devotional/quiet time. It is easy to do, isn't it? I need to do that more often, stop myself and realize that I am not seeking Him as I should be. I want to find that passion once again, the desire to seek after Him with every bit of myself. It seems that the wearyness of this life, this season we are experiencing is taking a toll on my relationship with God. I know I am not alone in this, but how easy it is for me (and just about every woman out there) to get so busy, so caught up, so concerned about keeping all the plates spinning that I forget I can't do any of it alone. God has placed His hands on my life, and I don't want to miss what He has for me. How many times have I packed my schedule so full that I literally don't have time for God anymore? We make excuses, checking off everything we are doing right but it turns out we are just simply doing way too much. How about slowing down, choosing to let a few of those things go in favor of authentic time with God. He is waiting, He has something to say to me today I just know it. I've got to listen, I've got to let it all go and just listen because He is here. I am thankful for that, for how much He really wants to be with me.
Joy and Light
Early Tuesday morning January 2, 2024, I got a call that my Mom was slipping away and the family should come. We knew she was not doing well these past couple of weeks as she had developed pneumonia and covid, and she was struggling just to manage breathing. When I arrived, the nurse brought me in to Mom's bedside, and quietly stepped out to give me some time alone with her before my Dad and my brother arrived. I cried like I have never cried before in my life, and went to my knees beside her, resting my hand on her arm. I have no words to describe what it felt like in that moment, the finality and the reality of it. My brain understood she was gone, no longer there. But my heart, regardless of how far gone Mom had been for years now..... my heart was suddenly flooded with the feelings, the sounds, the memories of her across my entire life, rushing through my head in that moment all at once. It felt like time kind of stopped, s...
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