Andrea O. Freeman

“If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross daily, and follow me” –Luke 9:23 NLT Last week was a difficult week for me, for our family. We are navigating a new, challenging path with Ryan’s folks as their health issues become more urgent. If you have been in touch with us over the course of this year, then you know 2018 has been rough. Illness, hospitalization, therapies, surgery, and rehab, and so on. I don’t know how we would manage through it without the support of our family and friends, our community of faith that surrounds us. The meals, the phone calls, the visits with Ryan’s folks, the prayers, the encouragement, the accountability. The intention Christ set for the family of God is evident and flowing beautifully for us, so as I am writing this my heart is overflowing with gratitude. I felt at times this past week as if I was teetering on the edge of sanity. It is incredibly frustrating and absolutely maddening to watch

“Who do you say that I am?” (Mark 8:29) Today has been a less than stellar day. It caps a season we are going through right now with our family that is just flat out hard. This is unknown territory and I am waving the white flag today. Nobody fully prepares you for the struggle of watching loved ones health deteriorate. I wasn’t fully prepared to be hit with it the way I was on an emotional level until, well, it hit. I’d like to say I rode it out, I rose above it, and I stood with my chest held high and overcame that which would threaten to take me down. Nope. It took me down. This is the point of no return where my weakness and His strength meet like a 2x4 hitting me over the head. I met my limit, and He met me right there as I was figuratively sitting in a daze on the ground, rubbing my head from the impact, dazed, and uncertain what to do first to re-gain my footing. I’ve got you ….. It shouldn’t take this kind of impact for me to realize how tightly I am gripping to

…God will make you complete, steady, strong and firm. 1 Peter 5:10 I am definitely a type A personality, prefer some order and a well-organized plan versus flying by the seat of my pants. I like to know what’s coming, and I do not like surprises. My family would tell you straight up if we are going out to celebrate my birthday, don’t even think about getting the waiter/waitress to do that birthday singing thing that gets the entire restaurant staring at our table. I would be very unhappy with you if you chose to go this route. Just don’t do it. That being said, surprises in life occur all the time. And I am not one to pitch a big fit like a child throwing herself on the floor in the middle of the grocery store shopping trip, but sometimes I just don’t handle it well at all. My human nature chooses to allow the emotional and sometimes irrational to lead before turning first to the Holy Spirit within. It’s something I don’t like to admit, but it is true about my personality.