"Who do you say that I am?"

“Who do you say that I am?” (Mark 8:29)

Today has been a less than stellar day. It caps a season we are going through right now with our family that is just flat out hard. This is unknown territory and I am waving the white flag today. Nobody fully prepares you for the struggle of watching loved ones health deteriorate. I wasn’t fully prepared to be hit with it the way I was on an emotional level until, well, it hit. I’d like to say I rode it out, I rose above it, and I stood with my chest held high and overcame that which would threaten to take me down. Nope. It took me down. This is the point of no return where my weakness and His strength meet like a 2x4 hitting me over the head. I met my limit, and He met me right there as I was figuratively sitting in a daze on the ground, rubbing my head from the impact, dazed, and uncertain what to do first to re-gain my footing.

I’ve got you …..

It shouldn’t take this kind of impact for me to realize how tightly I am gripping to something I really don’t have control of. Instead of struggling to understand why something is happening, my first reaction should be to lean into the Father. I allowed the panic and concern racing through my mind to overwhelm me, instead of seeking His truth and promise first.

Trust Me, I’ve got you …..

In Mark 8 we read Peter’s response to Jesus question, “Who do you say that I am?” Of course, he answers “You are the Christ! The Son of the Living God!” So strong, so certain, so quick to answer. I think most of us read this encounter and, knowing what occurs later when this same man denies Christ, wonder what was the true condition of Peter’s heart toward Christ? At what point was Peter’s heart fully surrendered to Christ? I have to imagine it was not instantaneous for Peter. Because he like so many wanted Jesus to be something He really was not intended to be when God sent Him to this earth. He didn’t fully grasp the purpose of Christ to be our Savior. Not a warrior, not a conqueror, but a Savior. And it was only because I was able to reach the point of realizing precisely how much more I could NOT take today, to recall in my heart and my mind—I really need a Savior. All.The.Time.

Who do you say that I am?

It’s incredibly frustrating and upsetting for me to have to admit how truly weak and incapable I am. Because I want to be able to handle a whole lot more. But I can’t on my own. Where I meet my weakness head on, I am able to see more clearly how much I need Him. And how much my trust in Him needs to increase.