Easter weekend is approaching and for the first time ever our family is not going to corporate worship. This year we are going to have family worship. If the weather cooperates we may go to a park and have our own celebration in the beauty of the outdoors and enjoy a picnic lunch. My mind is already whirring with an idea for an Easter cake and we'll do our own egg hunt for the kids. I am looking forward to a very special and memorable Easter weekend with my sweet family. I am so blessed to have Ryan and the kids. I can't imagine my life without them.
I read Psalm 40 this morning in my quiet time and more wonderful insight from David Crowder. It is a psalm we can all relate to in our walk with Christ. It echoes the cry of my heart, asking where God is. The psalmist acknowledges God's rescue in our times of great need and how truly great He is. Inevitably, uncertainty creeps back in again and the psalmist is once again crying out for help. I love this part, because it is what my heart speaks right now:

Soften up, God, and intervene; hurry and get me some help,....I'm a mess.
I'm nothing and have nothing; make something of me.
You can do it; You've got what it takes--
but God, don't put it off.

Daily I find myself crying out to God. I am finding as life goes on, and it doesn't get any easier, that this is how my prayers begin. A cry, a plea, a request to intervene and make me better than I am. Make my day better than it is looking to be. The sustaining comfort I have and have had throughout this ordeal, is that God never changes, He is not moved by our circumstances, and He is still on His throne. It is impossible to fathom in my humanity that I am capable of praising Him in the midst of the most difficult circumstances. I think praise in suffering takes on many shapes as we progress through it. I am certain that in the darkest depths of our struggles, our praise is sweetest to Him. It is where we are most vulnerable, most broken and truly ready to receive what He has for us.
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