How about a crumb, Lord?

It's Monday and just after noon and I am already so tired. Life rushed at me this morning and it just about knocked me on my back side. I had to get 4 kids up and going by myself. Here's the day's snapshot for you:
5:15 am Ryan and I are both up. He is getting ready for work, I am nursing Chloe.
5:32 am Ryan is off to work.
5:45 am Chloe is done and asleep-Yay! Now I got to get myself ready.
6:30 am Bailey is already up and getting himself ready. I think my 10 year old boy is the perkiest one of the bunch today.
6:38 am Rylee and AJ are up and all of us are getting some breakfast and getting ourselves ready to go.
6:50 am Got Chloe dressed and in her car seat. Check diaper bag is stocked, bottles ready, my purse, my lunch and the breast pump all ready to go. Geez, it looks like I am packing up for a trip somewhere other than just a work day!
7:14 am We are out the door and headed to daycare.
7:21 am Get Chloe checked in and ready for her first day. So not liking this!! I've got to do this again tomorrow?! Get the other 3 kids checked in and ready to load the bus for school.
7:24 am On the road to work. Whew.....

You can imagine the conversation I have had with God today. I am so tired. Do I really have to do this again? Lord, how do people do this everyday? I know it sounds like I am whining but this it?! How long do I have to do this?! There's got to be something better for me.

Last night I told Ryan I had a conversation with God while I was walking yesterday. I find myself in a place where I believe I have moved beyond anger, frustration, doubt, fear into some form of calm. I am not totally at peace with what has happened, but I can look at it objectively. I find myself in a place where I can't say that I feel anything but tired. I believe my mind and my heart are resigned to the fact that this is it for awhile. I am hoping and praying that it isn't for very long. This is where patience kicks in. Well, at least it should but what is kicking in at the moment is my need for it. I told God yesterday as I walked that I am tired, but I am okay with that. Is that weird? I told Him even though I am very tired, I can move forward. I know He has called Ryan and I to ministry, I know He has a place for us to serve, and I have been experiencing a feeling of great expectation these past few days. Something in me has changed, and I am just feeling very expectant of God doing something incredible in the next few weeks. I asked Him to move, I asked Him to give us a sign, a morsel, a tiny crumb...something to let us know the work He has for us is about to begin. I didn't give Him an ultimatum, I just told Him I am hoping and praying His plan will begin to unfold in a way that we can truly see. I know He is working on me in the area of patience right now more than ever. I want to walk boldly in my Christianity, standing on His promises and speaking His promises. He will move, He will provide when we ask and I realize that is according to His timing and not my own. How long do we have to wait? How much more of this do we have to endure before it starts to get really good, Lord? I am looking forward to the next few weeks and what He is going to reveal to us.

'By entering through faith into what God has always wanted to do for us—set us right with him, make us fit for him—we have it all together with God because of our Master Jesus. And that's not all: We throw open our doors to God and discover at the same moment that he has already thrown open his door to us. We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand—out in the wide open spaces of God's grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise.'
Romans 5:1-3 The Message
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