Andrea O. Freeman

“He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.”-Hebrews 11:6 If I seek earnestly after anything less than Christ first, I’m a fool. I am wasting my best on things that are quite simply ashes, dust, rust, waste. I am in the midst of a season of my life this year, that has proven to be a greater sifting of my soul than any I've experienced so far. It most certainly won't be the last or the worst, life is unpredictable and absolutely unbearable much of the time. Ryan and I have experienced a depth of disappointment, sorrow, frustration and sometimes outright anger over some of the situations that have transpired around us. It’s an incredibly stressful and helpless feeling to come to the realization that only God can take care of a situation. I don’t let go very well, because I want to help, I want to fix it. I found myself just weeks ago on the floor of my closet, in need of a meltdown in the presence of the Father only. Sometimes, we need to be broken on a far deeper, uglier...

Now, our God, we give you thanks, and praise your glorious name. 1 Chronicles 29:13 NIV I’m not a fan of going to the dentist, but it’s necessary. I went in for my routine semi-annual cleaning this week and forgot again to take some pain reliever in preparation for the poking, scraping and having to hold my mouth wide open for an extended period of time while my hygienist and then my dentist both do what is needed to ensure I have had a thorough checkup. I had a lot of work done in my mouth over the years-fillings, crowns, root canals. So it was no surprise to me to hear my dentist inspect and update me on the current condition of 2 of my back molars that we have been “watching” for the past 2 cleanings, are not in good shape and will require that I get a crown and a new filling. As you can imagine, I was less than enthusiastic to hear this. But honestly, I was not surprised. We are human. We are not built to last. Our muscles, our bones, our minds, our bodily functions, are...

“But I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might show you my power and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth” (Exodus 9:16) Early morning riser-I am not. If you know me well, then you are very much aware that mornings are not my favorite. First place my feet land when I get up is in my fuzzy slippers, and I head directly for the coffee. I remember growing up, I loved sleeping in and as a teenager I know it drove my Dad nuts to walk by my room and it could have been 10:30-11:00am and I was still in bed. He is an early bird, up early every single day without fail because in his opinion the day is half over if you are still in bed after 9:00am-ha! I haven’t slept that late in years, not since late in college and into my marriage. But there is a correlation in my life between this preference to sleep in and cover my head with the covers, and my approach to the world around me. “Yet you, LORD, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; ...

Courage: the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery. “I have told you these things so that you can have peace in me. In this world you will have troubles. But be brave! I have defeated the world!” John 16:33 ERV 'It’s too hard, God….' 'How am I going to do this, God? This is impossible!' 'What do I do now? There’s no way out of this now…..It’s hopeless….' Trapped. Doomed. Game over. Something happens, then just as you are about to get up and regain your stand, you get knocked down again and kicked in the teeth. Life is throwing all the punches, and there’s no letting up. You can’t imagine it getting any worse, and then it does. What else could possibly go wrong? And how on earth is it going to get better? What’s your natural reaction when something bad happens? What do you do to cope? What is your method for working it out and finding a way to recover? How do you ultima...

“…Thus far the Lord has helped us.”-1 Samuel 7:12 There are moments in my life when I look back and can see how God in His perfect yet mysterious way provided through. Helped me endure. Comforted me when I was overwhelmed and teetering on the edge of sanity. I couldn’t say it right away, but in time I was able to whisper from my heart in gratitude, “Thank you, Lord” . 1 Samuel 7 we read about the Israelites returning to God, Samuel telling them this is what we must do and this is how we acknowledge our God has surely helped us. The altar was built, and he named it Ebenezer, Hebrew origin meaning ‘stone of help’. It was a moment they chose to mark with great significance, honoring the God who helped them. I have not personally done something this significant in terms of a marker in my life that physically symbolizes God’s help for me. But I recognize moments in my heart where I have been marked by His deliverance. It is something only I can see and fully experience, remindin...

‘I've had moments where I thought I wouldn't heal, or untangle myself, or get a better view of myself and of them. I've had long periods of time where I've felt flattened by an experience, but I have always been able to rise again. And that's what makes me resilient. My resiliency is mine. It is the only unbreakable part of me and is what makes me capable of Love even with a mountain to climb.’ (Stephanie Moors, Yoga Lifestyle) This current season of life is proving to be one of the most unpredictable I’ve experienced. As Ryan and I edge ever closer to the big 5-0 in a few years(I think we should celebrate this one with a trip to Hawaii, don’t you?!), we are learning how to let go of some things and to embrace some things that life is handing to us. Maybe in a few more years I’ll be able to open up more about these “things” but for now, I'm gonna do my best to share the process with minimal details. I felt for the longest time in my life, my happiness and...

‘God is uncompromising when it comes to dealing with our heart, body, soul, and spirit and its issues. Before God can move through us, He must first move in us.’ (Brian Houston, Hillsong Church, “Live, Love, Lead” 14 day devotional on Bible app) Zechariah 4:1-10 NIV: Then the angel who talked with me returned and woke me up, like someone awakened from sleep. He asked me, “What do you see?” I answered, “I see a solid gold lampstand with a bowl at the top and seven lamps on it, with seven channels to the lamps. Also there are two olive trees by it, one on the right of the bowl and the other on its left.” I asked the angel who talked with me, “What are these, my lord?” He answered, “Do you not know what these are?” “No, my lord,” I replied. So he said to me, “This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the LORD Almighty. “What are you, mighty mountain? Before Zerubbabel you will become level ground. Then he will bring out ...

Ephesians 4:32 NIV Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. I have learned a little late in life just how much benefit there is to releasing my burdens to Christ. I would like to be able to boast in my ability to trust God with my cares wholeheartedly, but it would be a lie. I fall short daily. I have to completely uncurl my grip on my life every single day, and it is not easy. I like having control, but that’s not reality. God holds it all in the palms of His hands. I have this great view from my work station, our front office entry has floor to ceiling windows, so I get to look at and take in the beauty of the beginning of the day. It is my favorite time, because everything seems brighter, fuller, vibrant when I begin by considering all this that God made. Likewise, the days we have intense weather and it is dark and ominous outside, I look out in awe of the power of His creation. When I consider every day, the b...

Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your praye...

For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland. Isaiah 43:19 NLT This week I’ve kind of been in a funk. Burdened for loved ones who are in a difficult season of life and true to my personality-I am heartbroken and want to help. I don’t like being in that place. Stuck in the wrestling between my flesh and my spirit. God knows their need and will care for them perfectly, but for whatever reason I struggle to release it to Him. I struggle with trusting them fully to His care. It’s a terrible struggle, and I should be able to let it go right? I shared last week a funny moment we had one evening on our walk through the neighborhood. I watched as my youngest Chloe, laughed and jumped around, so animated, so concerned about a horsefly bothering her Daddy. “Get off my Dad!!” It was funny at the time, but I am reflecting on that today in a deeper se...

“By our attitudes are we nullifying the Christian message? Does our behavior contradict the very truths we are trying to get across to others?” – Selwyn Hughes, founder of Crusade for World Revival People are looking at me. People are watching what I do. People are listening to what I say. They will judge me. They will criticize me. They will not agree with me. They will condemn me. The majority will go along with the loudest and most popular voice in the room. I wonder how many of the loudest voices in our society today stop and think before they open their mouths? I wonder how many of them have someone designated to speak on their behalf, and despite their not completely agreeing with what is to be spoken, they remain silent and go along with the status quo? Truth stands alone, and honestly quite often when we choose truth we will have to be prepared to stand alone. Truth does not always unify, and often times can divide because everyone’s own opinion is so much mor...

Sometimes in life we stumble upon writing that shines a light on what’s been in progress in us for a long time. If you hope to be married one day, or maybe you are engaged, already married, in the midst of a separation, divorced, newly married again, or single and wondering if it is ever going to happen or perhaps considering never getting married at all - this is a worthwhile read. There was a time in my life when I felt very strongly marriage should be considered a partnership, an equal between two people. I can recall moments in my marriage when I believed we had hit a bump in the road and our commitment to each other and what we brought to this partnership was in need of serious scrutiny. I remember making a list at one point in my mind, and on paper too, of all the things I took care of and all the things he took care of. My mind raced with comparisons, weighing what I thought was fair or not fair, right or wrong. I didn’t understand why he didn’t meet me where I thought he...

I was in my junior year at MSU, had come through a difficult season of my life and just kind of bulldozing my way through. I didn’t care how I did it, or how well I did it, I just wanted to get through school and be done. I was both raw and numb emotionally as I was working through so much unfinished stuff in me. I have found therapy/counseling to be very beneficial for myself, for my marriage, and for my oldest child over the years. It’s stupid and incredibly arrogant to think at any point we can weather through life on our own, and I know some will not agree with this-but sometimes God is not enough. Sometimes God’s provision and deliverance for us through a terrible experience, comes in the form of a professional therapist. I was there, more than once, and the mind is a powerful thing. When you reach that point, the point when you are teetering on the edge and starting to lose hope, that’s the point to ask for professional help. I’m really glad I did. It was hard for me to ...

This past weekend we accomplished something of a miracle. Moving. So, to give you the short version: Monsoon like rains and storms hit Springfield Friday and didn’t let up until early Sunday morning. Moving Day was Saturday. Moving service scheduled weeks ahead to take care of our big, bulky and heavy furniture, and we rented a box truck to move all the boxed stuff, odds and ends, etc. Moving Day arrived, got the box truck early, and headed to the house while Ryan got ready for it to start at the apartment. Little did we know what was about to go down. Moving service called and cancelled. Short-handed. I won’t go into specifics here, but you can only imagine the state we were both in at this point. First, when Ryan got the call. Second, when he called to tell me. I was at the house because we had two deliveries coming and I was waiting to coordinate the unload when they arrived with our stuff. So, while my sweet Chloe was outside in our new garage enjoying watching, tal...

I was reminded this past weekend, I have so much to learn yet about my Father’s full and abundant purpose for my life. Specifically, the ongoing and very painful lesson for me is losing control. I am not sure at what precise moment I clamped down, set my grip on what I thought was control of my life. Through a series of losses we experienced personally the past 6 years, I allowed a shift to occur in my relationship with God. I was tired, frustrated, angry, fed up and determined it was going to be different from this point forward. I wasn’t avoiding any ownership of what we had experienced, it was certainly realized. But, I also wasn’t able to forgive, work through it and move on to the place God intended for me. That unfortunately took years for me to accept. I chose to rely more upon my own strength than to release and draw upon the strength residing in me all along from Holy Spirit. Recently, I have been settling into a new job. It has been a challenging start, and I did ...

Renewal. I need it daily, well, if I’m honest, moment to moment, every single day. I am so thankful for the life I have been given. More days than not, I struggle with the motivation to do what is necessary. I like order, I am an organized person, but if I have the choice I’d much rather let the necessary go and run away to do something leisurely instead. At some point the nagging of what is waiting for me to do, the necessary, starts to affect my ability to enjoy the leisurely. It’s a wrestling match every day. Some days, depending on what circumstances are hitting me, the wrestling can be more intense. Finances, relationships, work, school, etc.-and I find they tend to hit in waves of 3’s, never just one thing to deal with at a time. There is always something, and it is always poor timing. Poor timing from my viewpoint, but not from God’s viewpoint. I find as I get a little bit older, have a little bit more life experience under my belt, and with the help and support of se...

I envy my young ones. I envy them because they have no reason yet in life to worry, and they simply don’t look back. I look at them in amazement sometimes, wondering what it is that keeps them moving forward without a care in the world. Truly, their only care is to leap into life with every ounce of their being. No holding back. All in. Going for it! I watch, and often hover-helicopter parenting, yes?-concerned their first venture into something without knowing what they are getting into could land them flat on their faces. Don’t get me wrong-God appointed us parents for good reason, to ensure they are safe, loved, disciplined and educated to walk into life as a healthy and whole human being. But, He also expects us to recognize throughout this parenting experience that we are often not as in control as we would like to think we are. I had a conversation recently with my oldest child, Rylee, about relationships. It was a beautiful thing for me to listen to my daughter share ...

The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it. The world and all its people belong to him. For he laid the earth’s foundation on the seas and built it on the ocean depths. Psalm 24:1-2 NLT 2011 was a particularly difficult year in my life. It was difficult for many reasons, some I have shared and some I have not. The birth of our fourth child, Chloe Grace, on March 2 was a welcome breath of fresh air at that time. My husband was recently unemployed, I was blessed to be able to take six weeks maternity leave from my job, and as we drove home from the hospital all I could do was look at her and weep. It should have been happy tears, but I remember the feeling in the pit of my heart. Like I could literally feel the weight of it in me. I was really terrified for the first time in my life I think. We had faced difficult circumstances before, but this, this setback for my husband, for our family, was unlike what we had experienced so far. I look back at myself in that moment in ...

Forgive ... Release ... Freedom ... Forgiveness. It does not come naturally to us as human beings. When we are hurt, our natural reaction is either to lash out and seek revenge or to withdraw and wallow in our wounded state. In my experience at least, these are the two most common reactions to being hurt. I have been experiencing a challenging season in my life professionally, and as a result, I have been working through the process of being hurt and disappointed. I am a strong, independent and determined person and I have faced greater obstacles in my life compared to this particular situation, but it has been difficult for me to release it fully. I came to a point this morning, as I was doing my devotional time, considering my last days in this job and closing out physical files and my workstation, preparing for my transition to a brand new and wonderful work place ... I was still holding on to something. Because I felt, I was owed something. Know what I’m talking about? ...

Years ago, we experienced the joy of building and owning our first home in Spring Hill, Tennessee. One of the things I was most excited about was having a garden. I had visions of plants and flowers of several varieties, but I knew it would take time and effort I hadn’t put into this before because we had always lived in apartments up to that point. I had occasional potted plants, but nothing that gave me the opportunity to put down roots. I had learned from my parents experience keeping a garden growing up, so this was my chance to put my own interest and little bit of experience into action. I got all the tools, the soil, the seed, the nutrients to feed them, and the mulch to protect them during the winter months. I got into a rhythm pretty quickly and easily, and found I really loved it. I remember right before we moved away, how much I was going to miss that. I still look back at pictures I took of those flower beds and seeing how pretty they were, and how they grew, and w...

Matthew 6:6 ….Then your Father, who sees everything, will reward you…. I am in the middle of a transition of sorts in my life right now. The past few months in particular, my job has been uncertain and the necessity to explore other job opportunities became my new reality. I am in the process this week of interviewing for a position, thrilled by the opportunity, entirely grateful God has gone before me, and His amazing favor is upon me. I cannot imagine going into a season of change like this or any other without having my heart, my head, my entire being focused entirely upon the One who made me. Not only is it expected of me as a child of God to seek after Him first and in all things, but it is indicative of my faith in Him. It is not human nature, it is God nature for me to choose to pursue and peruse after God’s purpose for my life every single moment of every single day of my life. I am diving deep into His Word this year with a new reading plan, already rediscovering the ...