Earnestly seeking.....
If I seek earnestly after anything less than Christ first, I’m a fool. I am wasting my best on things that are quite simply ashes, dust, rust, waste. I am in the midst of a season of my life this year, that has proven to be a greater sifting of my soul than any I've experienced so far. It most certainly won't be the last or the worst, life is unpredictable and absolutely unbearable much of the time. Ryan and I have experienced a depth of disappointment, sorrow, frustration and sometimes outright anger over some of the situations that have transpired around us. It’s an incredibly stressful and helpless feeling to come to the realization that only God can take care of a situation. I don’t let go very well, because I want to help, I want to fix it. I found myself just weeks ago on the floor of my closet, in need of a meltdown in the presence of the Father only. Sometimes, we need to be broken on a far deeper, uglier level within ourselves than we realize. It’s incredibly arrogant for any one of us to think we are broken enough, that there isn’t one thing more we need do to be right, be better, be stronger, be whole, whatever. The next thing we do is turn our focus on what needs to be fixed in others. Some of us are really good at managing our lives and the people in it. At least we think so, we have convinced ourselves of this. We take pride in never letting anyone see us sweat it out, show our true colors and catch even a tiny glimpse of the fracturing that is occurring in our marriages, with our kids, with our extended family. I’m telling you now because it is a beautiful necessity every single person on this blessed earth needs to grasp: God does not expect you to have it all together. God desires for you to earnestly seek Him every single moment of every single day, and that requires vulnerability.
What is it you aren’t willing to acknowledge within yourself?
What percentage of your existence is earnestly seeking after Christ?
I’m here to challenge you now: if anything in your life today is absorbing time and energy that would be better spent building up your mind, body, soul to better reflect Christ—stop it. Disconnect. Get away and get alone with Father God now and ask Him to sift you like wheat. Confession time is here, release that stuff that has built up inside of you, that has numbed you and convinced you that you’re “just fine”. The release is not often instantaneous. Sometimes it takes months, years. I don’t know why, but some of us have this thing called pride that holds us back from being precisely in the position Father God desires for us to be. To be whole in Christ, restored and renewed, we must position ourselves in His presence. No exceptions. We must choose to connect with the Father, He will not force us to do so. It is a holy habit we need to adopt every single day. As we seek Him, earnestly seek Him and know Him more, He will break down the things in us that are tucked away in a very deep, dark place. There is nothing more humbling in this moment than to realize my confidence was misplaced.
I am thankful for those who have walked with me through some of the most difficult seasons of my life-pastors, therapists, family, friends-but my hope, my confidence must always and only be in Christ. The amazing people I’ve come to know and love, the methods/practices/habits/remedies I’ve learned: all good, BUT - it will all fail me at some point.
This is why it is such a beautiful necessity to discount it all first and begin by acknowledging Christ is my priority, He is enough, He is ALL I need. My family is not my first priority. My friends are not my first priority. My health is not my first priority. Wealth is not my first priority. My career is not my first priority. These are all important things to all of us to some degree, but as Christ followers we must choose to reserve priority #1 for Father God. I will not attempt to tell anyone how to prioritize their lives, because it is different for each person. If you happen to be the type person who enjoys telling people how to prioritize their lives, I recommend you wait until that person actually asks for your advice. I have been on the receiving end of some very strong and highly opinionated but uninvited advice in my life, AND I have given it out a time or two. When our speech and actions roll out based on what we know, rather than Who knows best, we will most certainly do more damage than good.
Seek Him first, seek Him earnestly, release that thing to which you’ve clung so long and hidden out of the necessity to survive and endure. He is only able to do a new work in you when you trust Him completely. When you do, you will find yourself seated in His presence and flourishing in the life He has given you.
From my family to yours, I am praying God’s beautiful best for you! Love and blessings to you and yours!
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