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Showing posts from 2017

Season of Lacking

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Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.
Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers …

Deliverance

For I am about to do something new.
See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?
I will make a pathway through the wilderness.
I will create rivers in the dry wasteland. Isaiah 43:19 NLT


This week I’ve kind of been in a funk. Burdened for loved ones who are in a difficult season of life and true to my personality-I am heartbroken and want to help. I don’t like being in that place. Stuck in the wrestling between my flesh and my spirit. God knows their need and will care for them perfectly, but for whatever reason I struggle to release it to Him. I struggle with trusting them fully to His care. It’s a terrible struggle, and I should be able to let it go right?

I shared last week a funny moment we had one evening on our walk through the neighborhood. I watched as my youngest Chloe, laughed and jumped around, so animated, so concerned about a horsefly bothering her Daddy. “Get off my Dad!!” It was funny at the time, but I am reflecting on that today in a deeper sense. …

Truth

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“By our attitudes are we nullifying the Christian message? Does our behavior contradict the very truths we are trying to get across to others?” – Selwyn Hughes, founder of Crusade for World Revival

People are looking at me. People are watching what I do. People are listening to what I say. They will judge me. They will criticize me. They will not agree with me. They will condemn me. The majority will go along with the loudest and most popular voice in the room. I wonder how many of the loudest voices in our society today stop and think before they open their mouths? I wonder how many of them have someone designated to speak on their behalf, and despite their not completely agreeing with what is to be spoken, they remain silent and go along with the status quo? Truth stands alone, and honestly quite often when we choose truth we will have to be prepared to stand alone. Truth does not always unify, and often times can divide because everyone’s own opinion is so much more hi…

Grace

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Sometimes in life we stumble upon writing that shines a light on what’s been in progress in us for a long time. If you hope to be married one day, or maybe you are engaged, already married, in the midst of a separation, divorced, newly married again, or single and wondering if it is ever going to happen or perhaps considering never getting married at all - this is a worthwhile read. There was a time in my life when I felt very strongly marriage should be considered a partnership, an equal between two people. I can recall moments in my marriage when I believed we had hit a bump in the road and our commitment to each other and what we brought to this partnership was in need of serious scrutiny. I remember making a list at one point in my mind, and on paper too, of all the things I took care of and all the things he took care of. My mind raced with comparisons, weighing what I thought was fair or not fair, right or wrong. I didn’t understand why he didn’t meet me where I thought h…

Breaking through....Trust renewed

I was in my junior year at MSU, had come through a difficult season of my life and just kind of bulldozing my way through. I didn’t care how I did it, or how well I did it, I just wanted to get through school and be done. I was both raw and numb emotionally as I was working through so much unfinished stuff in me. I have found therapy/counseling to be very beneficial for myself, for my marriage, and for my oldest child over the years. It’s stupid and incredibly arrogant to think at any point we can weather through life on our own, and I know some will not agree with this-but sometimes God is not enough. Sometimes God’s provision and deliverance for us through a terrible experience, comes in the form of a professional therapist. I was there, more than once, and the mind is a powerful thing. When you reach that point, the point when you are teetering on the edge and starting to lose hope, that’s the point to ask for professional help. I’m really glad I did. It was hard for me to…

There is a way....there is ALWAYS a way....

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This past weekend we accomplished something of a miracle. Moving. So, to give you the short version:
Monsoon like rains and storms hit Springfield Friday and didn’t let up until early Sunday morning. Moving Day was Saturday. Moving service scheduled weeks ahead to take care of our big, bulky and heavy furniture, and we rented a box truck to move all the boxed stuff, odds and ends, etc.
Moving Day arrived, got the box truck early, and headed to the house while Ryan got ready for it to start at the apartment. Little did we know what was about to go down.

Moving service called and cancelled. Short-handed. I won’t go into specifics here, but you can only imagine the state we were both in at this point. First, when Ryan got the call. Second, when he called to tell me. I was at the house because we had two deliveries coming and I was waiting to coordinate the unload when they arrived with our stuff. So, while my sweet Chloe was outside in our new garage enjoying watching, talkin…

Losing control

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I was reminded this past weekend, I have so much to learn yet about my Father’s full and abundant purpose for my life. Specifically, the ongoing and very painful lesson for me is losing control. I am not sure at what precise moment I clamped down, set my grip on what I thought was control of my life. Through a series of losses we experienced personally the past 6 years, I allowed a shift to occur in my relationship with God. I was tired, frustrated, angry, fed up and determined it was going to be different from this point forward. I wasn’t avoiding any ownership of what we had experienced, it was certainly realized. But, I also wasn’t able to forgive, work through it and move on to the place God intended for me. That unfortunately took years for me to accept. I chose to rely more upon my own strength than to release and draw upon the strength residing in me all along from Holy Spirit.

Recently, I have been settling into a new job. It has been a challenging start, and I did n…

Wrestling with the necessary...

Renewal. I need it daily, well, if I’m honest, moment to moment, every single day. I am so thankful for the life I have been given. More days than not, I struggle with the motivation to do what is necessary. I like order, I am an organized person, but if I have the choice I’d much rather let the necessary go and run away to do something leisurely instead. At some point the nagging of what is waiting for me to do, the necessary, starts to affect my ability to enjoy the leisurely. It’s a wrestling match every day. Some days, depending on what circumstances are hitting me, the wrestling can be more intense. Finances, relationships, work, school, etc.-and I find they tend to hit in waves of 3’s, never just one thing to deal with at a time. There is always something, and it is always poor timing. Poor timing from my viewpoint, but not from God’s viewpoint. I find as I get a little bit older, have a little bit more life experience under my belt, and with the help and support of s…

Beautiful struggle.....

I envy my young ones. I envy them because they have no reason yet in life to worry, and they simply don’t look back. I look at them in amazement sometimes, wondering what it is that keeps them moving forward without a care in the world. Truly, their only care is to leap into life with every ounce of their being. No holding back. All in. Going for it! I watch, and often hover-helicopter parenting, yes?-concerned their first venture into something without knowing what they are getting into could land them flat on their faces. Don’t get me wrong-God appointed us parents for good reason, to ensure they are safe, loved, disciplined and educated to walk into life as a healthy and whole human being. But, He also expects us to recognize throughout this parenting experience that we are often not as in control as we would like to think we are. I had a conversation recently with my oldest child, Rylee, about relationships. It was a beautiful thing for me to listen to my daughter share…

The struggle is real, but unnecessary...

The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it.
The world and all its people belong to him.
For he laid the earth’s foundation on the seas and built it on the ocean depths. Psalm 24:1-2 NLT


2011 was a particularly difficult year in my life. It was difficult for many reasons, some I have shared and some I have not. The birth of our fourth child, Chloe Grace, on March 2 was a welcome breath of fresh air at that time. My husband was recently unemployed, I was blessed to be able to take six weeks maternity leave from my job, and as we drove home from the hospital all I could do was look at her and weep. It should have been happy tears, but I remember the feeling in the pit of my heart. Like I could literally feel the weight of it in me. I was really terrified for the first time in my life I think. We had faced difficult circumstances before, but this, this setback for my husband, for our family, was unlike what we had experienced so far. I look back at myself in that moment in the…

Forgive....Release....Freedom.....

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Forgive ... Release ... Freedom ...

Forgiveness. It does not come naturally to us as human beings. When we are hurt, our natural reaction is either to lash out and seek revenge or to withdraw and wallow in our wounded state. In my experience at least, these are the two most common reactions to being hurt.

I have been experiencing a challenging season in my life professionally, and as a result, I have been working through the process of being hurt and disappointed. I am a strong, independent and determined person and I have faced greater obstacles in my life compared to this particular situation, but it has been difficult for me to release it fully. I came to a point this morning, as I was doing my devotional time, considering my last days in this job and closing out physical files and my workstation, preparing for my transition to a brand new and wonderful work place ... I was still holding on to something. Because I felt, I was owed something. Know what I’m talking about? Th…

Nourishing the heart

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Years ago, we experienced the joy of building and owning our first home in Spring Hill, Tennessee. One of the things I was most excited about was having a garden. I had visions of plants and flowers of several varieties, but I knew it would take time and effort I hadn’t put into this before because we had always lived in apartments up to that point. I had occasional potted plants, but nothing that gave me the opportunity to put down roots. I had learned from my parents experience keeping a garden growing up, so this was my chance to put my own interest and little bit of experience into action. I got all the tools, the soil, the seed, the nutrients to feed them, and the mulch to protect them during the winter months. I got into a rhythm pretty quickly and easily, and found I really loved it. I remember right before we moved away, how much I was going to miss that. I still look back at pictures I took of those flower beds and seeing how pretty they were, and how they grew, and …

Human nature vs God nature

Matthew 6:6 ….Then your Father, who sees everything, will reward you….

I am in the middle of a transition of sorts in my life right now. The past few months in particular, my job has been uncertain and the necessity to explore other job opportunities became my new reality. I am in the process this week of interviewing for a position, thrilled by the opportunity, entirely grateful God has gone before me, and His amazing favor is upon me. I cannot imagine going into a season of change like this or any other without having my heart, my head, my entire being focused entirely upon the One who made me. Not only is it expected of me as a child of God to seek after Him first and in all things, but it is indicative of my faith in Him. It is not human nature, it is God nature for me to choose to pursue and peruse after God’s purpose for my life every single moment of every single day of my life. I am diving deep into His Word this year with a new reading plan, already rediscovering the l…