Physical illness and stress are not good combinations. This week has been particularly trying for me and Ryan as he has applied for every job opening he can find in this area and nothing is opening up. Currently the job he is working is not consistent hours and very little pay. That adds up to a great struggle for us to pay our bills every month. Despite the reality of our current situation and our conditions, somehow we know God has a plan and will provide. I have for weeks been blogging very openly and honestly about our struggles. Perhaps I need to put a warning on my entries to those who would dare read it because it has come to my attention that somehow I could be jeopardizing Ryan's chances at a new job. Let me say this now: if you can't read this blog as simply my way of working through what we are experiencing, then don't read it. This is an outlet for me, that is all. I can only hope that sharing my heart as we walk through this difficult season will help others to see that ministry work is no bed of roses sometimes. This is a journey, and by sharing it I know I will get to the other side and be stronger and better for the journey ahead. If I have offended anyone by what I have written, please know it is not my intention. I am so incredibly appreciative to so many people, dear friends and family who have stood beside us throughout this season. We could not get through it without your love, your support, your prayers and encouragement. God has provided abundantly and for that I am so grateful and so humbled. I am standing on the promise He made in Jeremiah 29:11 today, that He has a plan for me and it is for good, it is to prosper me and not harm me. I know He is working and I know He has a plan. I am a ridiculously weak and incompetent human being who will probably screw up a whole lot more than I will get it right. Thank goodness for His mercy, His forgiveness and His grace. He is good, even in the worst of times, I know He is good to me.
Breathing room
The week leading up to Easter weekend this year, as part of my focus, my reflection upon this season of my life, my prayers, my meditations, my seeking greater space and breathing room-I determined it was time for me to depart social media. I had been thinking about it last year just prior to the holidays and the impending presidential election year of 2024. So I did just that, and it has been precisely what my heart and my mind needed. Since my Mom died in January, I have been thinking and internalizing a lot more with the goal to refresh, renew, re-focus. This season of experiencing simultaneous grief and peace has sharpened my internal perspective far more than any other time in my life. The reality is as life rolls on day after day, month after month, year after year, the rhythm of life brings a level of comfort and complacency for all of us. The unexpected can shake us, awaken us to a part of ourselves deep down that we didn't know was ther...
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