Physical illness and stress are not good combinations. This week has been particularly trying for me and Ryan as he has applied for every job opening he can find in this area and nothing is opening up. Currently the job he is working is not consistent hours and very little pay. That adds up to a great struggle for us to pay our bills every month. Despite the reality of our current situation and our conditions, somehow we know God has a plan and will provide. I have for weeks been blogging very openly and honestly about our struggles. Perhaps I need to put a warning on my entries to those who would dare read it because it has come to my attention that somehow I could be jeopardizing Ryan's chances at a new job. Let me say this now: if you can't read this blog as simply my way of working through what we are experiencing, then don't read it. This is an outlet for me, that is all. I can only hope that sharing my heart as we walk through this difficult season will help others to see that ministry work is no bed of roses sometimes. This is a journey, and by sharing it I know I will get to the other side and be stronger and better for the journey ahead. If I have offended anyone by what I have written, please know it is not my intention. I am so incredibly appreciative to so many people, dear friends and family who have stood beside us throughout this season. We could not get through it without your love, your support, your prayers and encouragement. God has provided abundantly and for that I am so grateful and so humbled. I am standing on the promise He made in Jeremiah 29:11 today, that He has a plan for me and it is for good, it is to prosper me and not harm me. I know He is working and I know He has a plan. I am a ridiculously weak and incompetent human being who will probably screw up a whole lot more than I will get it right. Thank goodness for His mercy, His forgiveness and His grace. He is good, even in the worst of times, I know He is good to me.
163 days....
163 days. I can't believe it's been nearly 32 years since we officially began our life together. I remember when you asked me to marry you on a fun evening out for a festive holiday get away to see the lights at Silver Dollar City in December of 1993. Mike and Amy joined us, and little did I know they were in on the secret and knew what was coming. You surprised me as you and I had a moment in the wilderness chapel, and you got down on one knee and asked me....it was yeah, a storybook, fairy tale, all the feels kind of moment! My Ry is really a romantic and an absolute charmer at heart. I can't imagine it being any other way. It doesn't feel like it's been over 30 years. A lot of life has happened since those early days when we'd only been together for about 9-10 months. I knew I was going to marry you just a month into our relationship. I knew God gave you to me, and me to you. 163 days til we celebrate another yea...
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