It is a rainy Monday and we all seemed to drag out of bed more than usual. I got up to get to the Y for my first weigh in. We are starting a biggest loser challenge so a friend and I have teamed up. It is just what I need to get myself really going on a necessary health makeover. It is a lifelong work in progress I am afraid. I guess I should be proud of myself for continuing to work toward improving myself. I have had some set backs, and I realize that stress has played a big role in my health. I know I turn to food for comfort. Some people have substance addictions, I have a food addiction. My greatest focus will be evaluating my moods, reasons for reaching for food especially when I am not actually hungry. I know I do it out of boredom, for fun, to relieve stress, or just because it is there and I might as well treat myself. I know there is strength in abstinence or making an effort to reach for something healthier. I know I can lean on my partner, and I have the encouragement of family and friends to keep me on track. My choice to follow through is the biggest factor. Nobody can force me to do it and nobody can hold me back from making bad choices so, it is really and truly in my hands. The whole weight loss thing has always been frustrating to me, and I have had success but it is finding the will to do it for life that I struggle with. I will continue to wrestle within myself and pray over this because for my sake and the sake of my family I want to be healthier, happier, and just be around longer! I also realize there is a greater reason: my body is the Lord's, his temple, a vessel to be filled and used. What good am I run down, overweight and grouchy? It is a direct influence on my example to others. I know the challenge I have ahead of me and I will be working daily to be the person God intends for me to be both physically and spiritually.
Joy and Light
Early Tuesday morning January 2, 2024, I got a call that my Mom was slipping away and the family should come. We knew she was not doing well these past couple of weeks as she had developed pneumonia and covid, and she was struggling just to manage breathing. When I arrived, the nurse brought me in to Mom's bedside, and quietly stepped out to give me some time alone with her before my Dad and my brother arrived. I cried like I have never cried before in my life, and went to my knees beside her, resting my hand on her arm. I have no words to describe what it felt like in that moment, the finality and the reality of it. My brain understood she was gone, no longer there. But my heart, regardless of how far gone Mom had been for years now..... my heart was suddenly flooded with the feelings, the sounds, the memories of her across my entire life, rushing through my head in that moment all at once. It felt like time kind of stopped, so I could have a moment to take it all in, co
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