I am little tired and somwhat frazzled at the moment, but I am bound and determined to get in my blog today. Easter is approaching, and so I have been thinking since last Sunday how am I changed since I first came to know Christ. How am I changed? Who am I today that I was not before? Do I really know Him, trust Him, love Him? I find as I get older I am bombarded daily by so many expectations to be something I should be, but am I just being me? Am I finding my authenticity and living it, really and truly living it? If everything I have, everyone I know, all the stuff I have accumulated and accomplished in my life was stripped away Who would I really be? I don't have an answer. I guess I don't have it cause I don't want to have it. I feel like that would be saying I am done, content, uninterested in moving, changing, being renewed and refreshed daily. I do know I am God's, I am chosen, I am a holy vessel for Him to use, I am blessed, I am loved and I am a good person. I know I fail and will fail, I know I can make a difference for Christ, I know I can be even better tomorrow than I am today and I know God has a plan for every moment of my life. So I stand here today uncertain of what tomorrow will be, but certain of God and His plan for me. Jeremiah 29:11 will always be a permanent fixture in my mind and heart because I can find such comfort, confidence and joy in it. The Lord has a plan and purpose for my life, one of hope and not harm. I can stand on that, I can believe in that, I can find joy in knowing I don't have to have all the answers at any point in my life. God is good, and I want to fall at His feet daily to find freedom in releasing all my cares and concerns to Him.
Joy and Light
Early Tuesday morning January 2, 2024, I got a call that my Mom was slipping away and the family should come. We knew she was not doing well these past couple of weeks as she had developed pneumonia and covid, and she was struggling just to manage breathing. When I arrived, the nurse brought me in to Mom's bedside, and quietly stepped out to give me some time alone with her before my Dad and my brother arrived. I cried like I have never cried before in my life, and went to my knees beside her, resting my hand on her arm. I have no words to describe what it felt like in that moment, the finality and the reality of it. My brain understood she was gone, no longer there. But my heart, regardless of how far gone Mom had been for years now..... my heart was suddenly flooded with the feelings, the sounds, the memories of her across my entire life, rushing through my head in that moment all at once. It felt like time kind of stopped, s...
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