It occurred to me the other day that I don't think I am being real enough in my blog. I like putting my first thoughts into it, what I am experiencing that day and what I am facing in my walk with Christ. I try to include a scripture but I know some days I am not specific enough and I don't always include a reference. I realize some people will wonder why, but I guess it is good enough for me to share what comes to mind. With three kids, a husband, a job, a house and a multitude of things to accomplish in a week I am lucky to get a sane word down on paper or in my blog. The truth is there are days I'd love to scream my head off in frustration, anger at how my life has turned out. It isn't really directed at anyone, it is just to get it out of my system. I claim full responsibility for my part in some really bad decisions that we have made. Oh the times I have thought about how great it would be to go back, re-do, get a do-over for some moments in my life. My greatest regret is that we didn't plan better financially than we have. We are equally to blame for it, Ryan and I. Nobody can blame anything or anyone for the choices made: we make them. Nobody is holding a gun to our heads to do it, we just do it. Temptations are surrounding us, and God knows how we will decide. I can think of moments I wished I had gone with my gut, not given in to the desire for something just for the sake of having it. I am learning as I get older, there is power in abstinence. There is power in saying "NO". There is power in reaching for something healthier to eat and only doing so when I am actually hungry, not out of boredom or because of stress. There is power in being a little bit selfish, doing something wonderful just for yourself. There is power in living life simply, choosing to live within your means. There is power in giving without expecting something in return, and this includes giving of our time not just our assets. There is power in the words, "I love you" and saying them often! There is power in human touch, affection, taking time to embrace someone simply because you are thankful they are alive. There is power in knowing at this very moment I am exactly where God wants me to be, doing exactly what He wants me to be doing. There is power in knowledge, and in knowing God. There is power in silence, in simply listening to God, waiting with expectation. There is power in His Word, it blankets our minds and hearts, protects us, comforts us, heals us, guides us. There is power in a relationship with God, with His Son Jesus. I believe in the power He has, that He has promised us and will continue to provide for us every day of our lives. We must tap into it, and that takes consistency, patience and obedience. Where does your power come from? He is waiting for you to plug in.
Joy and Light
Early Tuesday morning January 2, 2024, I got a call that my Mom was slipping away and the family should come. We knew she was not doing well these past couple of weeks as she had developed pneumonia and covid, and she was struggling just to manage breathing. When I arrived, the nurse brought me in to Mom's bedside, and quietly stepped out to give me some time alone with her before my Dad and my brother arrived. I cried like I have never cried before in my life, and went to my knees beside her, resting my hand on her arm. I have no words to describe what it felt like in that moment, the finality and the reality of it. My brain understood she was gone, no longer there. But my heart, regardless of how far gone Mom had been for years now..... my heart was suddenly flooded with the feelings, the sounds, the memories of her across my entire life, rushing through my head in that moment all at once. It felt like time kind of stopped, so I could have a moment to take it all in, co
Comments