Okay, so I just finished week one on the new job. I really, really like it. I could see myself doing this for awhile. It is enjoyable, a great office/workplace with a great group of coworkers and the benefits are awesome. Of course the down side is the time away from the kids, and we just don't have the family time we had before. Everyday I have twinges of guilt, sadness cause I miss being at home with my children so much. I am praying for God to provide that again one day when the time is right. I know and trust that He will. I had the opportunity to attend a ladies unity event at ISU tonight with a group of women from our church. It was so good, great speaker who was very funny and inspiring. I enjoyed time with a few ladies in particular in my group, we enjoyed a bite to eat, fellowship with one another and just enjoying being girls! On my way home tonight I was thinking how much I needed it. Let's face it, most of us women don't do much for ourselves with all we've got going on in our lives. I don't want there to ever be moment in my life where I feel guilty for having fun, doing something just for me. God wants us to take care of ourselves, and part of that is intentionally treating ourselves from time to time. I want Rylee to have that value too. I was praying today for consistency and I can think of a lot of areas in my life that need that for a lot of reasons. It is a lot to think about, makes me a little tired. I suppose it is a goal to work toward.
Joy and Light
Early Tuesday morning January 2, 2024, I got a call that my Mom was slipping away and the family should come. We knew she was not doing well these past couple of weeks as she had developed pneumonia and covid, and she was struggling just to manage breathing. When I arrived, the nurse brought me in to Mom's bedside, and quietly stepped out to give me some time alone with her before my Dad and my brother arrived. I cried like I have never cried before in my life, and went to my knees beside her, resting my hand on her arm. I have no words to describe what it felt like in that moment, the finality and the reality of it. My brain understood she was gone, no longer there. But my heart, regardless of how far gone Mom had been for years now..... my heart was suddenly flooded with the feelings, the sounds, the memories of her across my entire life, rushing through my head in that moment all at once. It felt like time kind of stopped, so I could have a moment to take it all in, co
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