Confront, Lament, and Repent

When is the last time you took responsibility for your sin?  My devotional studies in recent weeks have spanned across themes of grace, forgiveness, rest, and this week it has focused in on acknowledging our sin. Not specifically something I did, or you did, but our sinful nature in and of itself. We think when a baby is born, so innocent, so undeserving of anything other than abundant blessings in this life... Yes, that is the hope and the prayer for every life that God brings into this world. But, every single human being is blessed and cursed upon entry into this world with free will and humanity in its fullness. God breathed, but enabled to act freely as the journey of life rolls out. We pray, we plan, we worry, we do everything we can possibly think of to ensure that precious life grows to become a thriving contributor to this life. There is no better gift as a parent, than to hear from someone how kind, how respectful, how confident in Christ my children are. This is evidence of Christ in us as parents being passed down to our children, and someday to their children, and so on. There is a pattern, for some it is healthy and for some it is not. 

It is shocking to me when I have had the unfortunate experience of witnessing someone blame everyone and everything for something they did or their child did. Where is the accountability? Why are we so quick to dismiss any acknowledgement of guilt? Why is it so difficult to admit we screwed up and we need to do better? Why are we so reluctant to confront each other and help each other be better people in this world? Everyone is so afraid to be seen as intolerant, judgemental, and discriminatory. So, what sets us apart if we just agree to go along with everything that everybody stands for? How does truth stand out in a sea of mediocrity and complacency? We have a massive responsibility as Christ followers to live separate, strange lives on this earth. We are not home, this is not our home. It's so easy to get comfortable in it though, isn't it? Whether we have little or much, we as humans become accustomed very quickly to having certain things, we develop daily habits, we depend upon so many things that the world provides, and before we realize it we have become more reliant upon ourselves and what this world offers. Somehow without fully realizing it, Christ comes second. It is particularly difficult for me to witness on social media, the glaring statement people make about their lives and their focus by what they choose to post. I don't think we value the weight, the lasting impact of our words. Things that have been said, that cannot be retrieved. We are reminded in scripture of the value of our words, because what we say does flow from a place deep within. So, how much of our time are spending pouring our hearts out to God, working through the very things that burden us and then fuel our passion, BEFORE we actually speak? 

When did we last confront, lament and repent? Confront yourself, the thing or things you've been squashing down, simply because you don't want to deal with it. Because if we are honest, it's a whole lot easier to point out someone else's faults than to bring our own to the light. Lament, meaning to grieve deeply over a loss. What have we lost? So much. There is a huge loss I think we are witnessing all around us, as so many have turned inward and the disconnect is making us behave outwardly in a way that is really quite ugly. Humanity at its worst and on full display. Repent. Bring it to light, call it out, deal with it, let it go, and then walk away from it. Never, ever return to it, EVER. I think we all can admit that we don't always do that, and we often return to that thing we simply couldn't let go of. We like to milk it for all its worth, particularly when something is done wrong to us by someone else. Let me just ask you this: Do you realize the reflection your life becomes of the thing you just can't let go of? What is it that has you so bound up? What is it that is ultimately blocking you from being absolutely who Christ created you to be in this world? How will you choose to turn it around and be the change that this world needs? I am about 2 months in to a new job, and I'm still learning so much. I told someone recently, I am more tired now than I have ever been in my entire life. Life circumstances are a big contributor, but all that aside: this world is not my home and quite honestly I'm weary of this life and the way it is going 89.5% of the time. Anybody with me? Just being honest, I am spending a lot more time this year asking God a lot of questions, and hoping He doesn't notice how much more I am squirming, grunting, moaning and sometimes screaming my way through it. I know He's got a plan and a purpose for it all, but I'm ready for some light at the end of the tunnel. The waiting....the wading or sometimes just barely keeping my nose above the water....it's frustrating and exhausting. All I know to do, when I don't know what else to do, is pray. More often lately, I'm saying very little and listening a lot more. I think it's actually what He prefers. I know He wants to hear from me, what's on my heart and mind, but I know He longs to simply hold us and comfort us. I think it's because more often, what we need most is to just be in His presence. Just be. It doesn't solve the day's problems, but it resolves something in me. It's not a quick fix, but it is a re-set of my heart and mind on what matters most. 

When everything else fails, give me Jesus. He is all I need. There's a song that came out recently by Natalie Grant, "Your Presence is My Weapon", and man, it meets a need for me on a whole lot of levels right now in my life. It's God-breathed, and I know it has been a blessing to anyone who has heard it since its release. I encourage you to take some time this week to listen and add it to your music library. Scripture from my devotional study yesterday, presses into me this need for a broken spirit, a broken heart. It's the sacrifice our God longs for, to be broken and repentant for our own condition and for each other. So, whatever your condition today, consider this action toward a new focus: Confront, lament, and repent. Steep yourself fully in the greatest weapon you hold: His Presence! He will strengthen, guide, sustain, protect and provide for you every step of the journey yet ahead. Let's do this together. I can't do it alone, and neither can you. 

'The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.' Psalm 51:17