Seek Him first.....

….Seek His will in all you do,
And He will show you which path to take. (Proverbs 3:6 NLT)

Do you remember the first time your heart was broken? Trust was shaken?

I think I was a freshman in high school when I met the first guy who would capture my heart-oh, those big blue dreamy eyes! We had just moved to Springfield in the winter of 1984, so we had lived here nearly 2 years I guess at that point. What would only be a matter of months I think, felt like an eternity to me. Teenage crushes are brutal, and the absolute worst in my opinion. When you are that young, and the hormones are raging, and you are in such an awkward stage trying to find your self-confidence and self-worth, the impact of any disappointment at this stage in life can have a catastrophic impact. I know you have been there, so journey with me for a moment back to that feeling. It’s almost a euphoric feeling, isn’t it? Young “love”. I used quotations for that because at that stage in life, we really don’t have a clue what “love” is. That first crush, first “boyfriend” and the heartbreak of when it comes to a crashing end, can be pivotal for even the strongest personality. He was just as immature and stupid and incapable of realizing what we had was not in any form a healthy relationship. It was teenagers experiencing something new and sweet and fun, but not really lasting. Not something that either of us could place any amount of trust in. And yet, I trusted that boy to somehow care for me in a way that would make me feel safe, loved, protected. In the aftermath of that heartbreak, I felt as if I was drowning in these feelings that I did not know how to process. At that point in a girl’s life, you know where we lean first: Best Friends of course! I’m thankful for the amazing friends God placed in my life through those years. I can look back and see how faithful He was to me throughout those teenage years, because this was just one of several tumultuous seasons I would experience from the age of 13-18. He knew that I would, and He was with me every moment.

Heartbreak, betrayal, loss of trust is something I have experienced several times in my life. It is absolutely a given in the overall human experience. If you haven’t yet, I guarantee at some point you will. God allows us to experience it, to give us the opportunity to absorb the fullness of His grace! When we walk with the Lord, when we are spending consistent time in prayer, the study of His Word, and fellowship with the family of God, then and only then are we able to recover from heartbreak and recognize His hand on our lives!

We have a choice when heartbreak hits us: let it keep us down, or reach for the One who will always lift us up! I freely admit there have been moments when I have let the emotion, the depth of a difficult situation overwhelm and distract me from seeking my Father God first. It’s no wonder I struggled to find peace. I was trying so hard, too hard, to figure it out on my own. I went all too easily into self-preservation mode instead of God-preservation mode. His best for me is better than any version of what I think is best for me. I’m thankful He gets me, on the deepest and darkest level, just how prideful and stubborn I am.

Seek Him first, always first, even when you don’t feel like it.
Find time to be still in His Presence, just listen, lean into Him. You will find Him there.

I am thankful He is always there.