I may be weary, but I will worship You!

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It has been a week, mercy, what a week. As we are walking through this "wilderness" we are overwhelmed daily by the pressure, the stress, the almost tangible weight of our situation. The day to day living expenses are difficult to meet when very little income is coming in. I am mentally and physically exhausted, and my spiritual state is, well, on the brink. I can think of many people in the Bible who were in much more difficult situations than we are, and yet I can identify with their words. At one point this week there was a day when I managed to contain my emotions for the duration of my work day and as soon as I was in the car and on my way home, I found myself broken. It was a wonder I didn't have to pull over, I was so upset. I didn't even turn on the radio, but instead as I drove home I began crying out to God. This isn't the first time, I find myself in this place quite often these past months. I suppose the difference in this moment was the depth of desperation, helplessness, weariness, I just don't know how else to describe it, it was so tangible and such a sick, sick feeling. I poured it out as I drove, I just said, "God what...why...how...please, please do something!" I managed a hand full of words and then it came to me. All I knew to do was praise Him, even in that state, all I could think was I can still praise You, Lord. How crazy is that?! Today I found this scripture and need to share it:

God—you're my God! I can't get enough of you!
I've worked up such hunger and thirst for God,
traveling across dry and weary deserts.

So here I am in the place of worship, eyes open,
drinking in your strength and glory.
In your generous love I am really living at last!
My lips brim praises like fountains.
I bless you every time I take a breath;
My arms wave like banners of praise to you. Psalm 63:1-3

My eyes were open (which is very important when you are driving!), my heart was broken, my thirst, my hunger for Him was so overwhelming that at the end of myself all I could think to do was praise Him. What an amazing God! How does He do that? How do we find the ability to do that in what seems to be our most desperate hour? Isn't He good? Isn't He amazing? Isn't that what He wants from us? Truly authentic and raw, nothing held back unending praise of Who He is and What He can do!

While this has been a most difficult week, it has ended with a glimmer of hope. God is giving us signs of hope and that He is at work. We are looking forward to the next couple weeks to see what He is going to reveal as we walk, follow His leading. Please continue to pray for us and know what a blessing you are to us throughout this season.

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