Today I am going for a health assessment which is a free service to ISU employees. It is the first I've had in years so I am a little anxious about what my results may be. I know I have some weight to lose, but in the back of my mind are concerns with health risks on both sides of my family. I know I shouldn't worry, but I do. Isn't that human? It can't just be me cause I know plenty of people worry. I suppose I take it to a higher level at times which I am certain Ryan would confirm. Anxiety is something we all need to let go of more often. I see anxious tendencies in my daughter, and I know she comes by it naturally due to both parents' personalities. We are approaching teen years with her so I wonder what kind of teen she will be. She already is showing that she favors her Dad's personality much stronger than mine. As another year passes for her, I pray with greater concern that she finds salvation. My son Bailey is a completely different personality, very outgoing and a greater risk taker. He accepted Christ at 5 much to our surprise. We were amazed at his certainty at such a young age. He was full of questions one day in the car, and prayed many times as if he wanted to make sure he'd really done it. It was precious! I know it will be different with Rylee, still I wonder and wait a bit too anxiously. We've talked, we've prayed and I know she understands what the decision means and how wonderful it is. It's time for me to let go and let God. I know it's between Him and her now...but it is hard to wait.
Joy and Light
Early Tuesday morning January 2, 2024, I got a call that my Mom was slipping away and the family should come. We knew she was not doing well these past couple of weeks as she had developed pneumonia and covid, and she was struggling just to manage breathing. When I arrived, the nurse brought me in to Mom's bedside, and quietly stepped out to give me some time alone with her before my Dad and my brother arrived. I cried like I have never cried before in my life, and went to my knees beside her, resting my hand on her arm. I have no words to describe what it felt like in that moment, the finality and the reality of it. My brain understood she was gone, no longer there. But my heart, regardless of how far gone Mom had been for years now..... my heart was suddenly flooded with the feelings, the sounds, the memories of her across my entire life, rushing through my head in that moment all at once. It felt like time kind of stopped, s...
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