Seeking "The One"

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33 NIV

Relationships. They are not easy. They are very, very complicated. I have gone through some ups and downs in my 44 years on this earth, and have found over the years God has given me a heart for mentoring young women into a healthier state of mind. Not for what they need in a relationship, but what they need in themselves. Where does your heart reside right now?

If you have a relationship with the Son of God, Jesus Christ, and have given your life to Him, then your heart is His. Your heart’s deepest longing is to follow Him.

That is where it starts.

I accepted Jesus at the tender age of 7. I didn’t fully grasp what it meant to be a child of God, a follower of Christ. As my life would roll on, I found myself returning to Him in rededication at the age of 12. My walk with him had not gone deep enough because I was still so very immature emotionally and spiritually. He spoke into my pre-teen heart and I listened, I fell into His arms and gave everything more fully and completely to Him.

In those years between junior high, high school and college I fell easily into the trap that I had to have a boyfriend to be truly happy. I allowed a chunk of my self-worth, my self-image to hinge upon finding “The One”. I discovered very quickly how disastrous it could be to launch into this without even asking God for His guidance. I let my heart, my own ideas, my clouded and emotional vision for a boyfriend to go before what God intended. I was impatient and selfish, and there wasn’t anything anyone could say or do to change my mind once I had my eyes set on someone. This mindset would ruin my heart and my mind over the course of those young years, but I am thankful to say because of the prayers, support and intervention of family and friends in my life, my journey would not end in defeat. God’s powerful purpose and love for me would restore me, and bring me into a healthier, happier outlook on life. Self-reliance, and outright defiance will only get you so far. I came back to the same truth that I learned at the age of 7, and 12, that God is higher, bigger, wiser, and stronger than I can fully understand. His ways are better, and His timing is best and perfect. The moment we attempt to take control of the wheel from Him, we better count on crashing. It won’t end well. I am thankful to say my story didn’t end with a crash. I felt at a certain point that I did crash, but the reality was I found when I reached the bottom, He was there, waiting to lift me up all along. He was with me, He never failed me, He knew me best and He knew what I was seeking was not best. If I could go back in time and teach, mentor, love and empower my younger self, I would in a heartbeat. I choose to take what I experienced, the heartbreak of it all, and use it to remind others that we have every reason to trust God’s timing. When I talk with young ladies who are struggling with their self-worth and self-image, there is a common thread that seems to hold them back from their freedom: what’s been done to them in the past and the weight that has on the vision for their future. I believe the greatest encouragement and empowerment I can give them is to teach them to immediately change their perspective!

See yourself through God’s eyes! If your filter is shaped by what you’ve experienced, what has hurt you, what happened to you in the past, then you are not seeing yourself through God’s eyes. You are seeing yourself through your eyes.

Seeing yourself through God’s eyes is not something that happens immediately, from my experience. I had to develop habits and methods that would constantly turn my mind, my heart back to a God perspective. I found solace and healing in the habits of exercise (it is amazing what a long walk with great tunes in my ears will do!) and yoga, meditation (both internal and external—there is power in repetition in the mind and spoken out loud!) and the accountability/mentoring partnerships of several people in my life. All of these habits are most powerful and effective because of my first and best habit: Prayer! This is my support system, with my Father God seated squarely at the top!

Habits are hard to break, so I encourage you today as you finish reading this to set up for yourself a new habit, a Holy Habit, that I promise will set you on a course for residing more perfectly and consistently in His presence. Your self-worth, your self-image is defined by the Creator, and the fact that He made you with magnificent and unique purpose!

Finding your purpose will mean choosing not to fall for something that seems to be so good at that moment in your life, and you’ve convinced yourself is the last chance for happiness. Only God knows that, and you are not God. Enough said. He knew your first moment before you entered this world, and He knows what your last moment will be. Trust Him because He is God. Trust Him, because for all your hopes, dreams, goals, visions for this life He will certainly provide.

Trust Him!
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