Trust and obey..small but powerful words

I found myself digging deeply in my spirit this morning during my devotional. Something caught my attention, grabbed me and made me stop and think about the condition of my heart. Faith is hard, trusting God is hard, and all too often I find myself feeling a draw to plant my feet equally in both courts—God’s and mine. At what point in our lives and after experiencing a hand full of difficult times, do we suddenly find ourselves so skeptical of God, of everyone, of everything we have known for so long? Is this a step in our growth as Christ-followers? Is this precisely the point God wants us? So in the midst of my devotional this morning the words suddenly became tangible, I could picture the description and myself fully in it. It starts out by defining believing as a decision, that faith does not come from hearing the Word of God alone, but it involves the active decision. As we begin our relationship with Christ, we begin this journey toward a stronger, greater faith in Him. As we trust Him with more, our faith grows more. Next comes the part that grabbed me—
“…the Spirit keeps reaching for your hands so He can pull you forward. That’s when you must decide to believe—or you resist and stay exactly where you are in your Christian experience.” (Joyce Meyer Ministries, joycemeyer.org, “Battlefield of the Mind” Devotional)
What stopped me when I read this, was my own realization that I think there have been too many moments the last year or so when I’ve expected God to do something for me, and when it didn’t happen the way I’d thought it should, I found myself struggling to believe, and my faith wounded. Instead of trusting God to have His purpose for the worst moments of my life when I perceived He was not moving or speaking, I became frustrated and impatient, trying desperately to understand why.
It is in those moments that I realize I have a choice, to dig my heels into my frustration and disappointment, or reach for the Spirit so He can help me move forward, make the decision to believe and as a result grow in my faith in Christ. I can choose to be stuck in my need to understand why God does what He does and let that determine my obedience to Him, or I can choose to simply believe. I am still not comfortable with this but I am learning to say it, “I don’t understand You and Your ways, Lord, but that’s okay. I will trust You anyway!” “I am angry, I do not understand why You would allow any of this to happen, but I will choose to get over it, give it up to You and trust that Your ways are better than mine.”
Ananias was called by God to go and anoint Saul, who would later be known as Paul the Apostle, and can you imagine being in his shoes?! The fear, the lack of understanding, and how could this possibly be a man God would call? Why would I have any part in doing this after all he has done to Christians? I can’t honestly say I would have followed through, I don’t know. How extraordinary it was when he did choose to follow God’s call, and God used him to change Saul’s life and prepare him for the ministry God had for him. (Acts 9:10-19)
This is a difficult journey, life. God didn’t promise us it would be easy, but He does promise to be with us, to encourage and inspire us, to lead us. So, the question for me and for you is…will we follow through? Or will we choose to be stuck in a place of our own making? I hope you’ll join me in choosing to obey, even when it doesn’t make sense and is hard to understand.
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