Faithful God

Just when I think I am facing the worst day ever, it seems to reach a whole new depth. That is where I have been for several days now, sinking it seems. I have been aware, almost like an out of body experience, of how dangerously close I have come to feeling downright hopeless. I found myself over the weekend, visualizing myself crawling into God's lap and curling up in a ball, hoping to simply disappear for awhile. I came very close to not wanting to deal with anything or anyone, ready to shut down, ready to give up in many ways. I have been struggling in particular with no desire whatsoever to set foot in church. It is easier to make an excuse of any kind and simply roll over and pull the covers up over my head. Stay there all weekend. Somehow it feels comforting to know for a little while I can pretend all of this is not really happening. Get lost in my thoughts, in my own little world I've created to protect myself from experiencing any more of this heart ache and disappointment. Who am I kidding?! That's not happening. Life must go on and let's face it, too much to do and when Mom's not in it well--it just isn't gonna get done. The weight of my responsibilities, my commitments--it jolts me right back to where I need to be. Well, I guess in one way or another God gives me just the nudge I need to say, "Snap out of it! I am right here, I am not done with you, and there's so much yet to come in your life that is worth fighting for!"
My state of mind over the weekend forced me, focused me on one thing: God's capable, God can do anything and miracles do happen! Why is it we don't choose to pray as often for miraculous provision? I think it is because we have made it up in our minds that God did that before in the Bible, and He just doesn't do it as much now. He shows His power in other ways. Well, I agree with that, but I believe we are exercising the weight of our belief in His power by specifically asking Him for miraculous provision. So that is what I did. I asked God, and we prayed throughout the weekend, "Lord You know our need. We need miraculous financial provision. We trust You. We believe You will do it. Thank You, Lord!"
The past 24 hours have been amazing. He is faithful. He is true. He is loving. He is powerful. Oh my goodness, the power of prayer! I asked some of our dearest friends to pray specifically and to ask others to pray specifically for this and WOW! God did it! How amazing, how awesome, how incredible is our God and the power of the prayers of His people!
I can think of no other words. He is good all the time! All the time He is good! These are the kind of moments that shape our testimony so that others may know and understand who God is and how even in our darkest hour, when we call upon Him and realize we have nothing, we can do nothing, we have no strength left in us.....He is God! He is not changed! He purposed this moment, every single moment, the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful, no matter what we face. He is always teaching us, preparing us for something new that we don't realize we have to learn. Amazing.

2 Peter 2:9 So God knows how to rescue the godly from trials.

He knows, He can do it, He will do it. All is not lost. We have hope. God is so good. We are so thankful. So very thankful.
Lord, break us, mold us, fill us, use us. We are Yours.
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