Joy and Light

 Early Tuesday morning January 2, 2024, I got a call that my Mom was slipping away and the family should come.  We knew she was not doing well these past couple of weeks as she had developed pneumonia and covid, and she was struggling just to manage breathing.   When I arrived, the nurse brought me in to Mom's bedside, and quietly stepped out to give me some time alone with her before my Dad and my brother arrived.   I cried like I have never cried before in my life, and went to my knees beside her, resting my hand on her arm.  I have no words to describe what it felt like in that moment, the finality and the reality of it.  My brain understood she was gone, no longer there.  But my heart, regardless of how far gone Mom had been for years now..... my heart was suddenly flooded with the feelings, the sounds, the memories of her across my entire life, rushing through my head in that moment all at once.  It felt like time kind of stopped, so I could have a moment to take it all in, consider what I had gained and lost in my life because of her.  And almost as swiftly as the sorrow hit me, a peace that cannot be explained washed over me.  I knew she was no longer here, she was with God.   She was free.  She was at rest.  She was fully healed and whole, no longer broken by disease and the burden of her weary body.  My Mom was finally with our Father God, the One she knew and loved and held fast to all her life.  

As my Dad and my brother arrived, you can't imagine the love and sorrow intermingled in the room as we embraced each other.  Precious time for the three of us to hold each other up, to stand in that moment of simultaneous sorrow and joy, expressing our love for her, what she meant to all of us and the life she lived so beautifully.  It was a time I will not soon forget and will cherish for all of my life.  

There's no way for me to sum up in a single blog post, or a hundred blog posts, just how wonderful my Mom was.  She was such an amazing woman of faith, daughter, sister, wife, mother, grandmother, and she loved the life God called her to beside my Dad in full time ministry for so many years.  I have been told over the years that I am so much like her, and I consider that the ultimate compliment.  She was my mentor, my counselor, my confidant, my greatest support throughout my life and I can't imagine a moment without her.

When I think about my Mom, the two words that come to mind that represent her best are joy and light.   She truly brought both into every room she entered.  She loved life, she loved her family, she loved the Lord and she loved serving others with a full heart.  I know she was absolutely bursting with joy and light when she entered the presence of our Father God.  I know and believe I will see her again one day, but until then I will make the best of my time remaining in this life to honor her with a life that reflects her example all the more.  

I love you Mom, I miss you terribly, but I know I will see you again one day when we all get together in that beautiful, heavenly place.