Holy Expectation in the Unexpected

 

Psalm 91:1-2  Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."

The year end is rapidly approaching, and as we approach the Thanksgiving holiday, I am aware of how quickly time is moving forward.  This past year has been full of moments of unexpected experiences.  We lost Ryan's Mom in early January, and while we knew she was not going to be with us much longer due to a number of health issues, it's just something you can't be fully prepared for.  We had blessed time together gathering family and sweet friends to honor her life and praise God for our time with her, how she left her loving, gracious mark upon all of our lives.  As we stepped into those first few months of the year, the stress and demand of work, and for Ryan finishing out his degree at MSU, it was like a glaring neon sign in our faces that we could not avoid.  We had to push forward and do what was still before us to accomplish.  We have had the joy and gift of new worship ministry with North Point Church and the teams there, new church family, new and so welcome especially as we navigate some very intense life circumstances.  As we approached May/June/July, Ryan finally graduated - hallelujah! - and our oldest daughter Rylee was offered a teaching position, so we were now entering new territory.  However you choose to look at it, Ryan was starting new/starting fresh with a shiny new degree in IT CyberSecurity and we were simultaneously helping Rylee launch into first full time job/first car purchase/first apartment.  A lot of new  in a short amount of time.  

Let me just say, for all of you in the arena of life that is parenting adult children: Respect.  There's no handbook for this and from what I am finding out, even looking back at how my parents managed it with me and my brother, it's kind of a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants-and-trust-everything-to-God's-hands approach.  My heart is at a whole new level of aching, as we try to advise/guide/support our children and release them into the wide, wild world.  My greatest strength and peace through it, is knowing God made them and they were His before they were entrusted to our care on this earth.  I don't like the realization that once again, I'm not in control.  God's got this, and He's living in and moving in the hearts and lives of my children.  One of the greatest joys I have experienced this year in the midst of so much unexpected, is witnessing our youngest daughter Chloe accept the salvation of Christ and be baptized this summer.  I can't think of a greater experience in my life as a parent than to know all of my children now know the Lord and will experience eternity in heaven with Him one day.   Our family is now sealed in the beautiful covenant of Christ and part of the family of God.  There's just no greater joy I have experienced in my life thus far.  So even as we navigate this new season of parenting adult children, we can cling to that at the absolute worst of moments and it may be the one thing that brings lasting comfort when everything else seems to crumble around us.  

As Summer transitioned to Fall, doors were closing for Ryan as he ran the "hamster wheel" of job searching.  The frustration and disappointment is real, and motivation wears very thin as you can imagine.  Simultaneously, Rylee is struggling with the transition to new job/new life on her own/new responsibilities.  We press on and encourage her, support her in all we know to do, but ultimately we know this is a season in which we have to be in hands-off-prayers-up mode for our daughter.  We can't do this for her, we have to guide/support her as best we can and re-direct her to Father God, to her mentoring team, and to her therapist.  It is a really hard place to be, nothing easy about this process....and this is just our first.  We still have 3 more children to walk through this with.  God help us.

As we approach mid-November, I am very much aware that what I expected to unfold in the year of 2022 is anything but.  My husband is navigating new uncertainties and the harsh realities of how the world handles you when you try to step into something new despite having a shiny new college degree in hand.  My daughter has experienced the beginning and end of her first job by her own choosing, and the realization through that experience that it was not at all what she hoped and dreamed it would be, and is now finding her way in other career interests, following after God's call upon her heart for something new.  

As I was navigating some reading online this morning, I came upon the scripture in Psalm 91, and it was timely.  I know it and I believe it, but the visual is an immediate peace for me to know again, deep in my soul, that God is my refuge and I can trust Him.  There's a lot we experience in this life, and everything it throws our way has the potential to shift our focus in a negative direction.  We need to consistently adopt a perspective of holy expectation in the unexpected.  When we are shaken, heartbroken, disappointed and discouraged, we need to run to the refuge of our Father God that is always there.  He will hold us fast, His faithfulness is unwaivering, He is with us and for us.   Thank you God for being Who you are, and for holding me steady when so much I am experiencing in this life is unsteady.  Thank you God!