Graze in Grace

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If you have had a conversation with me the last couple of months, you know things are - for lack of a better word - INTENSE in my house.  

We just celebrated Ryan graduating MSU in May with his Bachelor's in IT CyberSecurity.  Our oldest daughter Rylee has been offered a full time teaching position, teaching English at Nixa High School just outside of Springfield this Fall.  We are in the countdown to her move into her first apartment in a couple of weeks.  Our older son Bailey has ventured into a new job this summer with a friend, and is loving it.  Our younger son AJ started his first job this summer at Taco Bell.  Our youngest daughter Chloe is living her best pre-teen life this summer hanging out with her bff's, swimming, sleeping in, etc.  Ryan is hard at it on the 'hamster wheel' of job hunting post graduation:  apply, interview, wait, get passed over, and repeat ......That last piece has been quite frustrating and disappointing as you can imagine for Ryan and I after all his hard work to get to this point in his life.  Having to work at a job that is highly unsatisfying for a company that takes no interest in mentoring or championing my husband to transition into a better job, well....I have words I would like to say here, but because I don't want to offend anyone I will keep them to myself.  My Mom's health is steadily declining, and the battle with Alzheimers/Dementia continues as we have had to make some changes recently with her care after a terrible fall.  Thankfully, we have some new things in place and she is healing well, but it continues to be a very hard path to walk for my Dad, my brother and I as we do our best together to make sure she has the best care and try to make the most of the time we do have with her.  The absolute best part of my day today was spending my lunch break with my sweet Dad.  I told him as we left our lunch spot today, it was just what I needed in the middle of this hectic day.

If you know me well, you know I am an optimist.  I always have been, always will be.  Don't get me wrong-I have moments of sheer panic and overwhelming doubt.  But I am a full blown type A personality, stubborn and strong-willed, and absolutely determined to get things done when they come my way.  I don't give up, I don't back down, and when I am met with defeat or failure, I process it and eventually I move on.  I have too much in me to offer this world and too many amazing people in my life and things God has given me to let anything keep me down.  

This afternoon, I came upon something Ann Voskamp shared on social media, that gave me immediate pause to reflect.  It was perfectly timed because of the day I am having today.  

'What are you attending to today?

You are doing hard and holy things and, as we keep company with Jesus on the way, our hearts turn our attention to what we attend to...to what we keep paying attention to.

Because the reality is: What we pay attention to - is how we spend our lives.'

My first thought after taking in the entirety of her post today was this:

Am I grazing in Grace?

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.  Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.  (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV)

That verse is familiar, the first part is what often comes to memory.  But that last part sticks with me today:  'so that Christ's power may rest on me'.  If I am grazing in anything less than the abundant grace my God has given to me as His child, then I am wasting everything in me on the things of this life that simply do not matter.  

'Grace, Grace, God's Grace!  Grace that will pardon and cleanse within
Grace, Grace, God's Grace!  Grace that is greater than all our sin'   
(-Grace Greater Than All Our Sin, Julia H. Johnson/Daniel B. Towner)

I'm reminded and renewed today, to stop and rest, linger a little while longer, graze in His abundant grace.

Care to join me?

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