Breathe

The ability to breathe is the difference between our life and our death. Without oxygen, and our body’s ability to circulate that through an amazing, intricately and delicately designed system, we would not be here. I can remember from a very young age, probably 5 or 6 years old, experiencing the fear and nearly breath stopping reality that I was not where I was supposed to be. We were living in Las Cruces, New Mexico, and I was in first grade I think, and rode the bus home from school like any other day. On this particular day though, my bus driver dropped me off at the wrong bus stop. And because I was fully trusting this bus driver to get me home, I stepped off the bus and onto the sidewalk, and watched the bus doors close, and the bus drive away and didn't give it a second thought. Until I began to look around, and was suddenly aware that this was not my street and I was in unfamiliar territory. My little heart started beating fast, and I was scared, but somehow I decided to start putting one foot in front of the other and walked down that street looking for something familiar. I can’t remember if I was crying, I just remember having a hard time slowing my breathing, and looking around for someone or something to help. I don’t know how, other than by God’s divine providence and protection, I found myself at the end of that street and looking down the way to see a subdivision entrance that I knew was mine! Seeing that, recalling in my mind that this was in fact the way to our home, my fear moved into relief, as I walked now with greater confidence toward that subdivision entrance. As I walked in the door of my house, and into the kitchen, I found my Mom on the phone and from what little I can remember she was very concerned and most likely talking to someone about the fact that I was not home yet and that the entire scenario did not go down as was expected. I imagine that bus driver, and whomever my Mom spoke to at my school, got an ear full! Bottom line, I was home safe and everyone was relieved-none more than me! I realize many years later, that could have gone very differently. I don’t know how or why as a little girl in a very scary situation, I somehow chose to look for a way out rather than sit down on that sidewalk and give up.

I can recall other fearful moments in my life over the years, when instead of choosing to panic, I chose to look for a way out. That sounds easier than it is, honestly, because the way out is often gut wrenching hard and near impossible. Ryan and I have battled through some things over the years that required one of us to nearly drag the other one along. Moments that sent one or both of us into full blown panic attack. Regardless of all the advice, the therapy, the tools and coping mechanisms we have been given to fight our way through the worst we have experienced in this life-the choice to surrender, to confess to each other, to forgive each other and to acknowledge God’s divine control and intention for us is the breakthrough! When that happens, I can breathe again. My body and mind can return to calm, and I can rest knowing my God is faithful and trustworthy. Nothing and nobody else comes close.

If you claim anything but Christ for saving you and making your life complete, you are wasting your breath. You will find that happiness is short lived, and eventually whatever that thing is you put so much hope in is just a thing. It will fade. It will disappoint. And it will never match up to what Christ has done for you. There is amazing potential in every single one of us to make a difference in this world, and impact others for Christ. What are you living for? Where is your hope? Let’s keep our eyes fixed on Christ and breathe in deep.