Breathe, Pray, Trust.....

We are T minus 8 days and counting until the start of another school year. I know some who have already begun in other states, so this month I suppose is one grand start to a new season for us all. I am trying to prepare my brain for the shift in our schedules that is about to launch. With one entering his senior year of high school, another entering her junior/senior year in college, a husband in college, an 8th grader and a 2nd grader, plus balancing our work schedules, church schedule, and navigating the care of Ryan’s folks, and making time for our family and time just for the two of us---our mindset these past couple months has been “Breathe, Pray, Trust....”

The necessity for release and full on trust in God is more evident to me right now that at any other time in my life. When God spoke into me awhile back about my focus this year being “Release”, I had no idea what I was in for. But He knew. None of this is a surprise to Him.

I can recall a time early in our marriage, the first few months actually, when we were settling in to our new home in Nashville, Tennessee. We had this cozy one bedroom apartment, very little furniture beyond what was given to us by family to get started in our new life together. We didn’t have a sofa. We had a card table and folding chairs for our little dining space. I was teaching preschoolers, and Ryan was working for a Christian artist. We were excited about this new adventure, Ryan had his sights set on getting his foot in the door of the music industry in Nashville, and thanks to a friend of his who was already established in it we thought we had a great start. Four months in, what seemed to be a good thing for Ryan came to an end. I remember when he showed up at my workplace during naptime, and my first thought at seeing him was he’d just come by to bring me lunch or something-what a sweet surprise! That quickly faded as he quietly told me he had been let go. I don’t remember exactly what my reaction was, but I know it was our first crossroads in our life together. The original plan was after I graduated from MSU, we married, moved to Nashville and Ryan would continue his education and get a degree in Music Business at Belmont University. Ryan’s friend had given him something else to consider when this job came available-just months before our wedding-to work with a Christian artist. We were young and drawn to what seemed to be an opportunity we couldn’t pass up for Ryan to work with someone in the industry, and get connected with other artists, players, get the start he had always dreamed of. He could always go back to college later, but this was too good to pass up. We prayed about it, details came together as we explored this new opportunity, talks and interviews happened, and it seemed the door was wide open for Ryan. When that door closed, it caused us both to pause on the path. We had to very quickly come up with a new plan. We had to find Ryan work. We had to somehow keep moving forward. What a test for us right from the start-but God knew. He was not surprised by it. That was one of many shifts in our life journey so far that tested me, and began to shape me into the person I am today. I have learned consistently over time when life does not go as planned, expected, envisioned: God is faithful.

When the vision you had for your life, your marriage, your family, your business, your whatever, doesn’t quite come together as you had hoped and prayed-what is your response to God? Yes, He is in control and yes, He allowed it to unfold just as it did. What an opportunity we have at this very moment to examine the position, the posture of our hearts. Do we respond by spouting about who or what is to blame for it going differently than we had hoped? Do we intellectualize it or rationalize it, trying to make sense of it based on our own preconceived idea of how we had envisioned it going? Do we rage at God, shaking our fists and screaming, “How could you let this happen?! I thought this was a good thing, and now it is gone!” Do we crumble in a heap on the floor, overwhelmed by grief at the loss of something we thought was a sure thing and absolutely intended to be? Do we barter with God? Do we beg Him to intervene and fix it? Do we pray in a manner that is bent toward meeting our need based on what we perceived to be the best outcome?

-OR-

Do we Praise Him anyway? Do we call it what it is, an unexpected shift in life, and then immediately acknowledge His unchanging presence: “God, You are Good, You are Faithful, and you are Enough!”

This is the difference in how we begin to step forward again on the path. I have learned in my own life over the years, no matter how I have prayed, planned, prepared for what I am certain God has for me: I am not in control. God is. Be flexible. Be ready to shift. Be expectant of the unexpected. Know full well that God has a way of bringing us back to simply seeking Him first. Do you trust Him? Trust in God is all or nothing. Trust in God is not justified by the things He has done for you. It’s not justified by what has gone right for you so far, or how good you’ve got it, or how much you have accomplished in this life. Trust in God is justified by knowing He is enough when absolutely nothing is known. Trust in God is what makes this difference in our response at any given moment to either Panic or Praise Him!

I was reminded today of the passage in the New Testament when Paul is on the journey to share the gospel, and he intends to go into Mysia. The Holy Spirit doesn’t allow Him to enter and they go on to Troas. It was a "No", God redirected Paul to something else. Same purpose, no question God was still doing a work through Paul, but I’m certain that had to be very hard for Paul. I imagine he must have had this amazing vision before they left on this journey, everything planned out day by day as to how they were going to take these areas by storm for Jesus. He was called by God, he had a vision, he had a plan, but even with all that he thought would work out a certain way-God redirected him. This portion of his missionary journey points us to consider even Paul learned a very valuable lesson: it was not about God preventing him from sharing the gospel, but more so about Paul trusting in God’s divine timing. (Acts 16:6-10)

I cannot guarantee that I will praise God every time I experience something unexpected; but I am learning over time the freedom of trusting fully in my God.

This is our lifelong journey as Christ followers, to be more and more like Him.