Path to life.....

You make known to me the path of life… (Psalm 16:11 NIV)

My daughter hit a “crisis” moment recently, the reality of what she has yet to accomplish in her pursuit of her college degree and ultimately doing what she is most passionate about. Add to that, the reality of life in general as she is preparing to be an independent and self-sufficient adult in this world. And it’s all heightened and intensified even more because of her anxiety/OCD. Preparing a child for life launch, well, at times it just makes me want to vomit right out. I cannot believe the task God has entrusted to me! Mercy!

My son is entering into his senior year in high school next Fall. Gulp. How is that even possible?! We need to get him to college visits this summer, start getting college admission applications filled out and sent in, then schedule senior pictures, plan a graduation party, then there’s the graduation ceremony, etc, oh my goodness, so much to do. And I haven’t even begun. Well, that’s not entirely true. Does thinking about it count as a start?

I hope my youngers aren’t feeling left out and neglected at this point. I have to admit, the pace of life we have been keeping has left me wondering quite often if I showed my children the love and support they need today? Did I take time to stop and listen to them, or did I spend the majority of my last few hours at the end of the day doing and saying everything that was on my to-do list?

There are days I find myself hitting a wall because I feel so overwhelmed, feeling incredibly inadequate and incapable of having to deal with one more thing. I keep my white flag close by, tucked just under my Mama wings in case the moment arises when I know I can’t take it one more minute and it’s gonna fly. I have had a few too many of those moment already this year. Man, oh man, the good Lord is teaching me something this year. When I figure it all out and have a sum up to share with you, I’ll let you know. I knew going into 2018, He had some new things in store for me. If you have been keeping up with our family, if you know us well at all, then you know the rollercoaster ride we have experienced thus far. As we are rounding out year #5 residing in Springfield, Missouri, we feel like it’s kind of a milestone on the Freeman family timeline. It’s the longest amount of time we have resided in one location. Honestly, Springfield is not where we expected to settle down for this long. I am certain Ryan still dreams about returning to live in Colorado one day. Who knows what God has planned? After a number of attempts in years past, my amazing husband has returned to school to finish his degree and is about to round out another semester-Woo Hoo! It’s gonna be interesting to see how closely my hubby and my daughter are to graduating at the same time. Wow!

I have to admit, there are more days than not, I feel the weight of this life and who I am called to be, and there is more droop in my wings than lift. I just want to curl them around myself and tuck in to my nest and hope and pray for a burst of strength to come. I don’t naturally turn to my Father God, I tend to turn inward first. I know I should seek Him first, but I guess my human self-preservation kicks in. My brain goes one direction, but thank goodness my heart goes another direction. When my heart can’t take it any longer, that’s when my spiritual nature, Christ in me, begins to flow. When my cries for relief turn to cries for Jesus, He is faithful. When I don’t know what to say or do, He is good and kind. When I have nothing left, He understands and the release brings peace that only He can give.
I was listening to a Christy Nockels song earlier this week, and it has come back to me again today. I recognize fresh the path of life Father God has for me and is revealing to me as I am ready to receive it. I am so humbled and thankful for his goodness and kindness. I need it every single day.

‘No one compares to You, my King,
No one compares to You, my Lord,
No one compares to You, my Friend,
I looked and I found that You’re the One
I needed all along…
You take my hand and You guide me on,
You show me the way to life
You lift my head and you give me hope,
You show me the way to life’ (Who Can Compare, Christy Nockels version)