Jeremiah 31:25 For I have given rest to the weary and joy to the sorrowing.
I admit I've not been as consistent on my blog the last few months as we've transitioned into a new season of our lives. The move to Springfield has been good, but the work is still hard and well ahead of us. We are not out of the woods yet but as we press on, work hard and meet our goals we know that God will take care of us and we will continue to be faithful with what He has given us. I have to admit I've been very weary even after the physical work of the move has been done. I am weary emotionally and mentally due to the battles raging in our marriage and in other "relationship arenas" in my life. God knows the details and there is no need for me to hash it out in a public forum because it is too personal and there are likely to be too many feelings hurt unintentionally. I have wrestled for years with this need to help and fix and do what others cannot do or will not do for themselves, and well, quite frankly I've got nothing left. I have tried to let go time and time again, and to an extent I have once again come to this place of realization that I cannot do for others what they choose not to do for themselves. There is a point in each of our lives, and I keep coming to this place, at times it has required professional intervention, to realize in order for me to be healthy, whole and balanced I must embrace the me God created me to be and let go of all others to His care. I must be okay with being flawed, even if others feel the need to remind me over and over that I have an obligation to them to meet some expectation they have of me. I struggle with being at peace with the simple knowledge that no matter what the perception is of me on this earth, I can rest in knowing I am loved by a big God, that I matter more to Him than all others, and that I don't have to prove myself to Him. So how is this perfectionist, OCD-ish, God-passionate gal dealing with these issues? I am thankful to be loved by a God who knows me best and understands all of this best. I am also thankful to have a few precious Christ-sisters in my life that I can trust to be my sounding board, my support system in all of this to help me work through the "stuff" that clogs my system every few days. I have this re-occurring tap on my heart from God that it is time to start a new women's study group so if you are reading this and you are in the Springfield area, and you want to join me in a community Bible study--message me on fb today! I want to start a gathering every other Saturday morning. I need it, you need it, so come on! Let's get it started! I need it and have missed it so much. I promise you God will show up and you will be blessed by the fellowship. It has been a blessing for me over the years and something I have missed for the last couple years with all the ups and downs we've endured.
Please continue to keep our family in your prayers as we continue living out this new season. Ryan started his new job last week and we are so thankful! God is good! For me the wait continues. I had an interview two weeks ago with a department at MSU and it went very well, but we are still waiting to hear their decision. Last week I got a call to interview with another department at MSU and it is tomorrow morning at 11:00 am. I am still wrestling with a third job possibility as well, so it is a wonderful position to be in for me. To have several choices, particularly in this economy, is nothing short of amazing! I want to make the right decision, and I want to see the job presented to me that is the job God intends for me. More than that is this-I don't want to take a job just for the sake of it being a good job. I want to take a job because it is what is best for me and also for my family. I don't want to settle, I want to do something worthwhile and challenging professionally and really truly enjoy it. I believe God has that for me right here, right now. We need your prayers for financial restoration. The path our lives have taken the last couple years has been difficult and highly misunderstood by many. We are thankful for those who have chosen to stick with us, prayed for and supported us and our family in the best and worst of times, and in particular those who've done so with no strings attached. We are committed to do the same for someone in a similar situation one day. It must be said--until you've been through what we've been through and known the depth of despair, desperation and defeat, you cannot truly understand the depth of healing, restoration and rebuilding our lives are undertaking now and well into the next year or so. There's no magic switch, there's no magic wand to instantly fix it and make it all better. We need your prayers for our marriage, for our family, for the work we are doing now to get ourselves in a healthier place in every aspect of our lives. We know God is at work, and we know it will be done according to His perfect purpose for our lives. With that, it must be said to each and every one of you, family and friends, how difficult it is to put into words just how full to overflowing our hearts are for your selflessness, your willingness to obey the nudge of the Father to help us in our most desperate moments. We will continue to share our joys and sorrows with you, because that is what it means to be part of this wonderful family of God. It is what draws us together, to one another, keeping us connected. Let's not let go of that connection ever! Know that I am praying for you and your needs today. I know God has something to speak to your heart, your day today.
I admit I've not been as consistent on my blog the last few months as we've transitioned into a new season of our lives. The move to Springfield has been good, but the work is still hard and well ahead of us. We are not out of the woods yet but as we press on, work hard and meet our goals we know that God will take care of us and we will continue to be faithful with what He has given us. I have to admit I've been very weary even after the physical work of the move has been done. I am weary emotionally and mentally due to the battles raging in our marriage and in other "relationship arenas" in my life. God knows the details and there is no need for me to hash it out in a public forum because it is too personal and there are likely to be too many feelings hurt unintentionally. I have wrestled for years with this need to help and fix and do what others cannot do or will not do for themselves, and well, quite frankly I've got nothing left. I have tried to let go time and time again, and to an extent I have once again come to this place of realization that I cannot do for others what they choose not to do for themselves. There is a point in each of our lives, and I keep coming to this place, at times it has required professional intervention, to realize in order for me to be healthy, whole and balanced I must embrace the me God created me to be and let go of all others to His care. I must be okay with being flawed, even if others feel the need to remind me over and over that I have an obligation to them to meet some expectation they have of me. I struggle with being at peace with the simple knowledge that no matter what the perception is of me on this earth, I can rest in knowing I am loved by a big God, that I matter more to Him than all others, and that I don't have to prove myself to Him. So how is this perfectionist, OCD-ish, God-passionate gal dealing with these issues? I am thankful to be loved by a God who knows me best and understands all of this best. I am also thankful to have a few precious Christ-sisters in my life that I can trust to be my sounding board, my support system in all of this to help me work through the "stuff" that clogs my system every few days. I have this re-occurring tap on my heart from God that it is time to start a new women's study group so if you are reading this and you are in the Springfield area, and you want to join me in a community Bible study--message me on fb today! I want to start a gathering every other Saturday morning. I need it, you need it, so come on! Let's get it started! I need it and have missed it so much. I promise you God will show up and you will be blessed by the fellowship. It has been a blessing for me over the years and something I have missed for the last couple years with all the ups and downs we've endured.
Please continue to keep our family in your prayers as we continue living out this new season. Ryan started his new job last week and we are so thankful! God is good! For me the wait continues. I had an interview two weeks ago with a department at MSU and it went very well, but we are still waiting to hear their decision. Last week I got a call to interview with another department at MSU and it is tomorrow morning at 11:00 am. I am still wrestling with a third job possibility as well, so it is a wonderful position to be in for me. To have several choices, particularly in this economy, is nothing short of amazing! I want to make the right decision, and I want to see the job presented to me that is the job God intends for me. More than that is this-I don't want to take a job just for the sake of it being a good job. I want to take a job because it is what is best for me and also for my family. I don't want to settle, I want to do something worthwhile and challenging professionally and really truly enjoy it. I believe God has that for me right here, right now. We need your prayers for financial restoration. The path our lives have taken the last couple years has been difficult and highly misunderstood by many. We are thankful for those who have chosen to stick with us, prayed for and supported us and our family in the best and worst of times, and in particular those who've done so with no strings attached. We are committed to do the same for someone in a similar situation one day. It must be said--until you've been through what we've been through and known the depth of despair, desperation and defeat, you cannot truly understand the depth of healing, restoration and rebuilding our lives are undertaking now and well into the next year or so. There's no magic switch, there's no magic wand to instantly fix it and make it all better. We need your prayers for our marriage, for our family, for the work we are doing now to get ourselves in a healthier place in every aspect of our lives. We know God is at work, and we know it will be done according to His perfect purpose for our lives. With that, it must be said to each and every one of you, family and friends, how difficult it is to put into words just how full to overflowing our hearts are for your selflessness, your willingness to obey the nudge of the Father to help us in our most desperate moments. We will continue to share our joys and sorrows with you, because that is what it means to be part of this wonderful family of God. It is what draws us together, to one another, keeping us connected. Let's not let go of that connection ever! Know that I am praying for you and your needs today. I know God has something to speak to your heart, your day today.
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