Waiting, searching, anticipating....

God is doing something. God is up to something. We have done what we must, and we will work tirelessly doing what we must in our time on this earth, but at times….it is so stinkin’ hard to wait! Beyond our time here in Indiana, Ryan and I have both wondered what it is God intends for us to do, what He has called us to. We have embraced ministry work both in volunteering and in church staff positions, but we long for something so much more than this. There is something more for us, we know that now more than any other time in our lives. Ryan and I have been on a road together, but in other ways we are on different roads. I believe God is doing a work in each one of us, shaping us, molding us, tweaking us here and there and quite frankly—at times it is painful! It is easy in the darkest hour, in the most difficult times of our lives to hold on to what we can grasp with our hands a little more tightly, to question God when we don’t see tangible evidence of some sort of progress, to wonder when is it going to get better. Yes, this is our nature, but at some point we let go and ask the Holy Spirit to take over. We have to choose to trust God wholeheartedly with what we don’t know, and rely on Him to take care of us with what He does know. The unknown is scary for us, but nothing is unknown to God. Trust, for anyone, even someone who has had the “perfect” life, is difficult. Deep down we just want to know it is going to be okay, that we can walk through life with confidence knowing nothing will harm us. Well, the reality is none of us has a perfect life. When the abundant years come, we know like Joseph warned Pharaoh, that we had better be wise, be prepared with the abundance so that when we arrive in the years of famine we are prepared, we are able to stay centered on God’s purpose for us. If we are communing with God daily, spending time with Him, deeply rooted in our relationship with him come what may then we can ride through even the most difficult times in life with confidence. I have found in recent years, there are many of us struggling to find just what it is God has for us to do next. We wait, we pray, we hope for what we want most but as I am reminded daily by a quote on my bathroom mirror… ”Faith is not the belief that God will do what you want. Faith is the belief that God will do what is right.” Romans 8:28 has been resonating in my heart and mind for the last couple of months, God keeps giving it to me in my devotional time, in my prayer time, in my moments of sheer joy and sheer despair, it keeps coming back to me! He works it all, ALL, for our good! Nothing is wasted, we cannot go through a day in this life with an ounce of bitterness or regret, or we will find ourselves shriveled up, miserable and looking back at our lives with such a deep sense of sadness. Sadness over what we lost, worrying, wasting away, wondering when God was going to move us, drop what we had hoped and dreamed for in our laps without an ounce of effort on our parts. We cannot expect God to wave a magic wand and suddenly change our situation for us. We must do the work, we must make the effort with what we are given right now, today, what we know we are capable of doing until the timing is right and God sees we are truly ready for what He has for us to do. There is no magic formula; you can’t pick and choose verses and portions of your favorite books from your favorite authors or experts to make your problems vanish right away. The truth is, most of us will have to work very, very hard in this life to get where we really want to be, and ultimately where God intends for us to be. The peace and certainty I have found the last two months is in knowing I must stop fretting over what I cannot control, and I must be content in knowing God has everything in His control! I don’t like it, I’ll be honest. I am a fixer, I am a pleaser and I like to be in control and know what is happening well ahead of time. So, this is a constant battle for me, a work in progress you can say. But, as I find that peace, it becomes a bit easier day by day to let go and let God. Let Him just be who He is. Let Him do what He does best. Work in me, Lord. I am Yours. I cannot do this on my own. It is such a relief to know that I don’t have to do this on my own. 1 Peter 5:6 So be content with who you are, and don't put on airs. God's strong hand is on you; he'll promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you. (The Message)