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Showing posts from October, 2011

Who will you feed?

As the weather starts to dip, colder weather comes in, I spend more of my prayer time on the way to work praying for people who have no home, don't know where they will get their next meal, trying to find work and just make it through one day. We pass them on the street corners, see them walking and wonder what more can we do? How often do we take the time at any time through out the year, to stop and consider what we could live without so that someone else has a place to sleep, a hot meal, or a job? What should we be doing in Jesus' name to help others? Every year I try to come up with some new way for our family to give back and since having Chloe I feel like we've not spent enough time working on that. It is easy to get busy and let things fall to the sidelines when even the simplest of acts of kindness can make a world of difference in someone's life. So, how about saving the money you'd usually spend to buy yourself coffee on the way to work today and us…

Faithful God

Just when I think I am facing the worst day ever, it seems to reach a whole new depth. That is where I have been for several days now, sinking it seems. I have been aware, almost like an out of body experience, of how dangerously close I have come to feeling downright hopeless. I found myself over the weekend, visualizing myself crawling into God's lap and curling up in a ball, hoping to simply disappear for awhile. I came very close to not wanting to deal with anything or anyone, ready to shut down, ready to give up in many ways. I have been struggling in particular with no desire whatsoever to set foot in church. It is easier to make an excuse of any kind and simply roll over and pull the covers up over my head. Stay there all weekend. Somehow it feels comforting to know for a little while I can pretend all of this is not really happening. Get lost in my thoughts, in my own little world I've created to protect myself from experiencing any more of this heart ache and…

I don't know why...but God does!

Do you think God shakes His head in wonder as He watches our lives unfold? It is something I have been thinking about today. I know it must have been unbearable for Him to watch His only Son die on the cross. Do you think His heart breaks for a situation that is not anything close to that? I do. I believe, regardless of the depth of our hurt, our disappointment, our pain and struggle on this earth, God experiences it with us. So, why, we all ask this in the midst of our struggle, Why don't you stop it God? Why don't you swoop in and save the day? Why does it have to go on, seemingly far too long? I have tried to look at it from a bigger perspective than my own, tried to see it somehow closer to how God does. I can't. I suppose that is where faith, hope comes in. When my own strength, wisdom, understanding fails, I can only lean on Christ.

Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty!
Who Was, and Is, and Is To Come!
With all creation I sing praise to the King of King…

God, what is it?!

For every struggle we face, we know there is a mighty lesson to be learned. Well, in these days we are learning something. Trust, Trust, Trust. God is in control, and so why is it so hard to trust Him? He knew long before any of this happened to us, that it was going to come about. I have been thinking about some people in my life, and some other people in the Bible, how they were handed something rather unexpected in life and they how they dealt with it. I've got two words for you as to how I am feeling at this point about the whole situation: It sucks! I have no desire to live one more moment of this wondering, waiting, when is it going to get better?! I shared in my Bible study group the other night that I have dealt with this thing in one way or another, but at no point have I felt hopeless, only incredibly helpless. These last few weeks it has become particularly tangible, this weight of helplessnesss as we face our day to day costs, and figure out how we are going …

Oh God, You are my God!

Oh God, You are my God! And I will ever praise You!
Oh God, You are my God! And I will ever praise You!
I will seek You in the morning, and I will learn to walk in Your ways,
And step by step You'll lead me
And I will follow You all of my days. (Rich Mullins)

All weekend, as I marveled at the beauty of God's creation, the changing leaves on the trees, the wispy clouds in the blue sky, the warmth of autumn, seeing and appreciating parts of Indiana that I had not seen left me in awe. It is just amazing what God has done. I think it was so good for me to have a few days to reflect on our journey so far, where we have been, how we are doing today, and where we are headed tomorrow. There are few reasons to hope, but they are reason enough to far outweigh the reasons to give up. I am more certain today than I have been in awhile that God is not finished and in some ways, this is only the beginning. I believe without a doubt that we are on the verge of something quite extraordinary…

Grace that is greater....

I am reminded daily, sometime multiple moments in one day, of just how deep, how far God's grace reaches to cover us. It is through the words of my Christ-sister who says she admires me for how I have stood by Ryan through this, it is in the face of my child when I tell him we can't afford to do that and he says, "It's okay, Mom" and doesn't respond with a pity party or a temper tantrum, it is in the reaction of my Christ-brother when he asks how we are doing/what we need and then offers what he can to help us pay rent, it is in the unending notes and letters and emails and phone calls of so many dear family and friends who have reached out to us at precisely the moment we needed it most. I cannot say it enough: Because of God's grace and because of you, every single one of you---we can go on. We can move forward. It may be baby steps, inch by inch, but we can do it. At the time of this blog entry, we are still living with a great deal of uncertain…