Time in between....

I sang this wonderful song in worship today by Francesca Battistelli "The Time In Between" and it was a testimony for me personally. God has been working on me for awhile about some things in my life. Perspective. For several years now I have been getting a whole new perspective on life. Pain, loss, fear, doubt, anger, inadequacy, loneliness, weakness, helplessness...I have bathed in and out of these feelings for some time. At some point over the past year, I have regained my balance, the peace I have needed for so long. It comes as no surprise to me looking back now that the miscarriage has helped me come almost full circle. I say almost because I believe I won't come full circle until I am standing before the Father. I still believe He is working on me, and I have to continue in the circle until He is completely finished with me. There are more bad days than good, but the difference is how I face them. I have found peace and strength in how I begin my day. My first moments are His, and nobody or nothing will have my attention before Him. It has made the difference in each day of my life for over a year now, I have found this consistency to be a comfort in my daily life. Without Him and without taking this time out to focus first on Him I believe I would unravel and spiral downward very quickly. There was a time when I found more comfort in the blessings God provided me rather than the One who blessed me. It is a comfortable place I believe we all can land in very purposefully, because we find a rhythm in life, things are moving along at a normal pace and going well. But the moment something unexpected occurs, we can be thrown off of the comfort zone so easily because we've become so content and independent of what God wants from us. What does God want? I believe He calls each of us to a unique purpose He has defined just for me and just for you. Nobody's path is the same, but we all serve the same God. I want to live each day completely abandoning the things of this life and embracing His passion and purpose wholeheartedly. I don't know why it has taken me this long to get it, but I do. Paul challenges us in Phillipians to press toward the goal, verse 12 "not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (Phillipians 3:12-14)
I know He has a work to do in me, and that has continued to shape me in my life decisions daily and looking ahead. I am finding a I get older that I have so much to be thankful for and yet I feel like I have not been as thankful as I need to be. God has blessed me with so much, and I have found what He has given me to be even more precious as events have unfolded in our community and in our world. I don't want to just look forward to the plans we have ahead, but also to pause and be thankful for what is happening to me right this moment. This day, this very moment could be my last on this earth so I do not want it to pass without stopping to thank the Father for Who is He and What He has done for me. I want my life to be a reflection of thanksgiving and joy, a testimony at all times of what a good God we serve. Thanks Lord, for every moment because I know that each one has shaped my life into what You intend for it to be.
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