The journey is yet before me....

I am looking at the middle of a week just prior to Christmas and cannot believe how the time has gone by! We are celebrating two years in Brazil, Indiana this month, and I am just amazed at what God has done. If you had told me back in 2007 that we would be here, I would not have believed it and probably would have laughed. I am truly speechless at times when I look back at what Ryan and I have endured. We are in no way done learning from what happened, we continue to learn from it and walk forward with what God has for us to do now. Nothing good can come from dwelling on the past, our mistakes, who did what to whom, or how we could have done it differently. The reality of what we endured hits me square in the face when I realize things could have been very different today had we not remained faithful to our God, to our marriage and our family, and to the calling upon our lives. It is interesting how a struggle can force you to take a hard look at your options and the scary part is, I actually pictured what my life would be like without Ryan. It was not good. It was an unhappy, unsettled existence for which I know I would have deeply regretted for the rest of my life. It would have been terrible for my children, and for our families to endure. It would have been a path away from God's intended purpose for me. It is difficult to admit this, but it is a way for me to come full circle with where we are today. I realize more than ever that today, what we have, who we are, how blessed we truly are---it is thanks to our God. When you find yourself in a place in life where you literally lose everything you have to survive in this world, it puts your wants and needs into perspective. We live in a world, and now we live in a community where so many people are without the basic necessities of life. It is humbling to realize there is so little we need to be happy, truly happy and we have so much to be thankful for. Happiness must be based upon the things not of this world, the peace and joy and love that only God can provide. How selfish and superficial we are to think we need this or that, when the person next to us is just thankful to have a warm bed, a warm meal, a kind hand to help them. Ryan and I are celebrating our 15th wedding anniversary this month, and I am more aware this year than any other of how remarkable it is that we have come this far. I am more in love with this incredible man, this wonderful, gifted, loving man than I have ever been in our marriage. I can't wait to celebrate 15 more years and on and on and on.....I love you Ry.
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