Andrea O. Freeman

Determined? Yes. Discouraged? Yes. Seeking? With all my heart and soul. Hopeful? When my anxiety doesn't overwhelm me. Human? Yes, entirely. Which means I am far from perfect, I am certainly going to fail a lot in this life. Supernatural? Yes, Christ in me! Which means I have a choice daily to start by recognizing how incapable I am but how capable the Spirit is that lives within me. I am currently reading Max Lucado's, "Next Door Savior" and I just hit a great chapter entitled "Discouraged People". The scripture reference is Luke 5:1-11. I read the familiar story of Jesus telling Peter to cast his nets again. This was after a bad day of fishing, we are talking 0 fish. So, you can imagine how worn out he is, ready for a hot bath, dinner and straight to bed. It is one of those days that I can only identify with as one that leaves you feeling empty. I don't have a thing left to give and I don't see the point of even making an effort...

If you are going to do something, do it with purpose. Every moment we endure in this life, good and bad, happy and sad, has purpose and we have a choice what to do. We can dwell on what it could have been, or we can evaluate it for what it was worth and move on. God allows life to happen very purposefully, and nothing happens by accident. When he hands us something to deal with, whether we expect it or not—and most of the time we are surprised!—we are immediately thrust into his spotlight, you could say. He is allowing it to see how we will act upon it. He is allowing it so we have the opportunity to behave in a way that says, “Lord, I believe in You and Your purpose for my life! I will walk this out by faith and trust You have use for even a moment such as this!” or, we will do the complete opposite and turn from God, curse Him and wallow in bitterness and regret for the rest of our lives. I think it is safe to say that most of us have faced a few things in our lives that we ...

I realize today more than any other day I am so blessed. I don't know if it comes with age and a variety of life experiences, but at the wonderful age of 40 I find myself enjoying more moments of solitude with my God to fully appreciate what He has given me. To say the last year and a half has been hell on earth in some ways is the only way to describe it. Now I realize that is probably being overly dramatic, and I am certain there are people experiencing far greater struggles than me but for me I have to say it has been the most difficult and painful portion of my life journey so far. This leg of my journey started when I was 8 months pregnant and had to spend the day comforting my husband after he came home to tell me he had been asked to resign from his job as worship pastor at our church here in Brazil, Indiana. Fast forward about a month later, and I remember the day we brought Chloe home, sobbing uncontrollably, I had so many questions racing through my heart and mind....