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Showing posts from November, 2012

I dreamed a dream....

Thanksgiving brought me many moments to stop and weigh the depth of my life to this point. I am so incredibly blessed to have my husband Ryan and four amazing children Rylee, Bailey, AJ and Chloe--God is so GOOD! Now to get down to the nitty gritty of where my heart is at this point in my life. I am aware of and amazed by every experience God has given me in my life in the form of "work". From a very young age, all I ever wanted was to be like my Mom. To be the best wife and mother I could be someday, get married, and have a bunch of kids and live happily ever after. Isn't that what nearly every girl wants? Well, in some ways I got that, and in others, I have yet to experience "my dream". Dreams take on many forms as we age, as we see what we have to accomplish, tackle in life to get to it and make it happen. Life has handed us more than I would have chosen to deal with, and the path I'd hoped to take has gone in some directions I wouldn't have…

gratitude

Thanksgiving is upon us and I wanted to jot down my thoughts before the week gets away from me. I am so thankful for my life, that God sent His Son for me, for His perfect provision, for my family, my friends. I am thankful for food, clothing, shelter and a job. I am thankful that no matter how far life drives me to despair and frustration, God will take care of me and provide relief, peace, the answers and instructions for what I need to do one day at a time, one step at a time. I try every single day to be mindful of my blessings because if I do not, I will find myself very quickly spiraling down a tunnel of anger, regret, sorrow and defeat. That stinker downstairs is absolutely to blame for when my condition goes in that direction! There are days that I can feel so on top of the mountain, so ready to conquer anything that comes my way but all it takes is one little poke in just the right spot and I am falling. Falling into thoughts of, “Why? When? How?” Gratitude is like …
I haven't blogged in a little while and I am sorry to say it is because I have been so busy, and just felt I didn't have a lot to say. We are settled in to our new home in Springfield, Missouri, new jobs, new life, new start. I am thankful, truly thankful for what God has provided. I should be really excited, but I find myself just plain tired. Can you relate? It's just life, and I am struggling more so now than any other time in my life to find a balance, to carry the joy I know I should throughout my day. I try very hard to live my life in obedience and with an active, authentic faith, and I know there are many times I don't get it right--the times I do, I feel a sense of peace and accomplishment that I've somehow met a goal. I know I am not perfect, and I know I am extremely flawed, so I hope that the mistakes I make, and what I have learned from them can somehow be a helpful lesson to someone else. I am struggling today with the weight of our reality. …