Not there yet...

Okay I made the huge mistake of stepping on the scales this morning. Yikes! Is that really how much I weigh?! Uggh, this is not getting any easier for me. How is it that it goes in so quickly yet it comes off so slowly? I hate that. The older I get I am finding a lot of things are harder to deal with. I can't seem to get the weight off as easily as I did just a few years ago. I can't seem to get enough moisturizer on my skin, the hair on my head is turing grey, and I have these new wirey, dark hairs appearing randomly around my chin and along my jawline, and I am feeling more lumpy and saggy than I ever have in my life. Time is marching on and my body is showing the wear and tear. So, like most women my age I do all I can to fix it--moisturize, pluck, color my hair and if I am lucky get in my work out several days a week and attempt to stick with a sensible eating plan. All this while taking care of my husband, three children, working full time and contributing to my church family and my community. Somewhere, somehow I find time to relax and play, unwind and enjoy life with my family and friends. I am tired after typing just those couple of sentences. I am proud to say I haven't got it down yet, I haven't done all I need to do and I haven't accomplished nearly as much as I would have like to by this point in my life. For some reason Phillipians 4:13 has kept coming to my mind over the past few weeks. I know I can do it, because Christ gives me the strength I need. But more than that, I know He can do a good work in me and through me--Philippians 1:6. Philippians has a lot to say to me right now and I know God has something to do with that. I find as each day passes and I creep a little closer to 40, I am more thankful for each moment that passes and I don't want to lose sight of the blessings God has provided to me. I see too many women around me running around like chickens with their heads cut off, and I don't want that to be me. I am thankful for the time I have at the end of the day to sit down and help Bailey with his homework, to go to the park and push AJ in the swing, to listen to my daughter pour out her heart about what she is struggling with as a pre-teen. I am thankful for having dinner as a family and sharing our day with each other rather than rushing off to a sports practice or class and barely saying a hand full of meaningful words to one another. I am thankful for a marriage that has withstood the tests of this life so far and how God continues to grow the love Ryan and I have for one another. I hope as I continue to live my life, regardless of what the scales say, I will be a reflection of God's goodness and love for me. I want others to know that and have that too, so I hope they see that in me. God is good, all the time...even when I feel the weight of time bearing down on me. This is a good life, and He is not done with me yet.
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my Ebenezer...

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