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Showing posts from December, 2007

It's a Beautiful Day

I woke up this morning, still wanting a bit more sleep, not ready to put my feet on the floor and go. But, I got up, moving forward is a good thing. We had a great service today, it is good to see people come together in worship. I have had several days of just feeling very depressed, burdened, physically hurting from it. It is amazing what Satan thinks he can do to us when we are at our weakest. I have this weapon though, and he knows it. I know he is just crazy enough to think I will forget about it, not pick it up and use it, remembering who I am and whose I am. Man, God is good! As I am writing this I am in a better frame of mind and spirit. Today Ryan and I sat down and agreed in writing and in word to turn the corner. We have so much to be thankful for, we have so much we confessed and asked forgiveness for and we have a renewed sense of direction and purpose. We know what we need to do and we are taking the steps to do it. It is incredible what God has brought us th…

The pit of despair

I was driving home from work today, tears streaming down my face and asking God over and over again, "Why?" Between the move and waiting to get our internet set up I am just now back to my blog so I'll fill in the gap. We have moved to Brazil, Indiana, and Ryan has started his new job as worship minister at a local church. We are thankful to be here, but reality has set in. We have a hard road ahead of us. I started my job yesterday, nothing new to report there. I have worked in the retail industry for years, easy and busy work. Ryan and I are having some very intense discussions about our circumstances, how to handle it, where to go from here to get to where we would like to be. It is quite overwhelming, enough to send anyone into a pit of despair. What pushed me over the edge this week was the car. It died on the way to the shop and we have found ourselves facing yet another financial dilemma. It is going to cost a whole lot of money, money we do not have. …

Rollin', rollin', rollin'...

Okay, we are officially inside the final countdown to the move to Indiana. I can't believe how quickly things are moving right now. The church voted Ryan on staff last weekend and we are heading out next week. Whew!! We are excited, anxious, sad, overwhelmed, just in awe of God. This whole journey we have walked over the course of the past 14 months since Ryan's job loss has been like nothing we've experienced in life thus far. It is a lot to process, many different emotions, lessons learned. I am struck by how helpless we truly are to the waves life throws our way--but God is not helpless! He is teaching us day by day to trust Him completely, let go of what we think we have control of and acknowledge His power in our lives. How ridiculous it seems to me that at any point we think we can go, "Okay, Lord, you know I've got this under control, we are doing good and we'll let you know when we need your help." How selfish, arrogant and proud we are.…